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What's the worst place to shoot porn?

Type: Content

Submitted by Colm4 (10)
Running shower (noisy) 31% 13 Votes
Outside (bad lighting) 17% 7 Votes
Bedroom (too normal) 2% 1 Votes
Old warehouse (ugly place) 10% 4 Votes
Other 40% 17 Votes

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41 Votes Total

Oct 17, 2012

Poll Replies (31)

Replies to the user poll above.

Msg # User Message Date


Marcus (47) I voted other, as I believe good scenes can be shot in all of those examples, although I have seen bad examples of each of them, too.

With a good mic and sound balance, I don't think the noise of a running shower has ever been intrusive to the point it has bothered me. The worst aspect from shooting in the shower is that it's quite confined and often limiting in terms of camera angles etc, but some of my favourite scenes have been shower scenes.

Outside - yes, often blighted with bad lighting, but I have seen some fantastic examples of outdoor scenes where the lighting has been fantastic. I think scenes outside give a feeling of jeopardy and again, a lot of my favourite scenes have been outdoor.

Bedroom is a bit unoriginal, but what it lacks in originality it makes up for in versatility. Lots of scope for interesting angles etc, easy to set up good lighting etc.

Old warehouse - must admit this is probably the rarer of the locations listed, but sometimes I think the contrast of natural beauty in terms of the model vs industrial ugliness is a nice contrast. I would say poor lighting is often more of an issue in warehouse shoots than outdoor shoots. I think there's something quite appealing about a beautiful girl against a desolate backdrop, it's also quite easy to lose yourself in the fantasy of it, too.

10-17-12  12:28am

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Toadsith (48) Challenge Accepted.*

*Please note all recommended candidates presume actual locations, not stand-in studio sets.

Candidates for "Worst Place to Shoot Porn" in no particular order:

Location 1: Westminster Abbey, during a coronation... that was already interrupted by a wolverine attack.

Location 2: Ypres, Belgium in early May of 1915.

Location 3: The O.R. of a Maternity Ward while an emergency pregnancy is being performed. (Example Ambiance: Watch the only memorable scene from Prometheus, aka. alien abortion scene.)

Location 4: On the surface of the Moon, without space suits. (Similarly, many leagues under the sea, Jupiter, the Sun, Venus, Mercury, Saturn, Uranus, and Pluto or any of its dwarf planet kin.)

Location 5: In Sergeant Stacey Koon's patrol car in the very early hours of March 3rd, 1991.

Location 6: Bouncy Castle, during a 5th Birthday Party.

Location 7: Nursing Home Cafeteria, during Bingo Night.

That's enough for now...

10-17-12  12:34am

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Erlib (0) Other: Couch in front of a wall.
10-17-12  03:35am

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graymane (33) Bedroom too normal? C'mon, get real.
The BR is, in fact, the very best place to do porn scenes. Just the mention of the word "bedroom" conjures up a smorgasbord of naughty scenarios.
I mean, the bedroom is where it happens. Unless one likes the action done swinging on the chandeliers.
If I had my way all shoots would be done in a bedroom.

Someone mentioned "couch" .... well, that works right up there with the bedrooms..... unless a woman is slouched over the edge of a cushion with her legs parted and feet planted firmly off the couch and on the floor. If ya'gonna use the sofa, for goodness sake stretch out onto it like its meant to be used.

10-17-12  04:42am

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Denner (235) Not into shower/bathroom shoots - and there are too many of them.
Outside - for most parts not good and yes: bad lighting...it takes a serious professional cameraman - and a lot are not.
And couch-shoots seems uncomfortable, mostly - the same goes for kitchen shoots.

I prefer bedroom scenes - on and beside the bed with a lot of "standing foreplay" - can you say that in English?
And there are a lot of fine shoots in front of a fireplace on a thick rug....

Nice poll, BTW.

10-17-12  05:40am

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lk2fireone (196) With inside scenes, you have better control of lighting and sound.

Outside scenes, unless you have a good photographer/cinematographer/whatever-you-call-it, you can get shadows, poor lighting, random noises (cars going by, planes overhead, etc.).

And most porn places very little value on location, costumes, plot/story, etc. It's just humping, sucking, down-and-dirty sex.

Which is why X-Art and the other similar sites are a nice change of pace. You can see erotic porn instead of gonzo porn.

But for softcore teen photography, you can't beat Met-Art, which has indoor, outdoor, all over the place locations in their shoots.

10-17-12  07:59am

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pat362 (375) Running shower is by far the worst one because the space is limited so you don't have too many angles to shoot the scene and since there is water than that limits even more the possible shots. Then you add the sound in an enclosed space and you get some echoes and the sound of the runnign water which probably surpasses the sound of the people having sex. It's a toss up between outside and a wharehouse to se which is the second worse one but I think outside is slightly worse only because you have the sound of wind, other natural sounds like birds singing, waves and waterfalls and then you also have all of the man made sounds. The biggest problems I can see with a wharehouse is that you could get an echo and cleanliness is not always something you associate with a wharehouse so that can make for a less than appealng scene.

I notice that underwater is not on the list but since there are so few videos shot underwater and frankly most of them aren't all underwater. Most of them usually get above water shots as well as below the water shots in the same scene. I think these types of scenes are in many ways the worse because you have almost everything that is wrong with the shower scene and many of the worst things with an outdoor scene.

10-17-12  08:22am

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Cybertoad (Disabled) REPLY TO #7 - pat362 :

I saw issues with all of the suggested results.
I find annoying the most a shower, even a bath is not much fun as often bubbles are involved as we play hide and seek with the beaver.

My other pet peeve is as GM said, a couch. I think most sex scenes look so awkward on couches. Even solo have there own issues on a soft couch trying to support and get the right spot looks like the are trying to do yoga too LOL

10-17-12  09:34am

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messmer (137) I hate shower and old decrepit warehouse scenes the most. This is followed by outdoor shoots because the lighting (and sound) is often so bad. Nothing erotic about back drops like that. Just like Graymane I think a bedroom is the only place to shoot a good porn scene or set of pictures.
10-17-12  09:54am

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pat362 (375) REPLY TO #8 - Cybertoad :

I didn't mention bath but I also agree that it's a pretty bad place to shoot a porn scene. The difference is that most scenes are not shot with the people having sex in the bath but normally around it or over it.

I actually like scenes shot with the couch and I haven't seen too many where the use of the couch is wasted on the scene. Those are when the guy is fucking the girl in upside down mode. IE: where her head is on the floor and her feet are in the air. I don't care for the upside down scenes regardless that it's on a bed couch or floor but for some reason I find the couch and floor one to be hard to watch because i can't help but think that teh girl is uncomfortable and that ruins the scene for me.

My favorite couch scene is when the girl is straddling the armrest and is eitheir getting it vaginally or anally. Anally is slightly better but that's probably because I'm an anal fiend.

10-17-12  11:23am

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Capn (28) I don't care for bathroom or outside settings.

Other than that I don't mind.

To flip the question, my favourite locations would be the living room or bedroom.

Cap'n. :0)

10-17-12  11:53am

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littlejoe (23) i hate it in a car
10-17-12  01:46pm

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gaypornolover (38) I don't really mind - I think a shoot anywhere can be made to look good if they camerapeople know what they're doing.

Whatever fits in with the theme - but really, I'm looking at the models, not the background!

10-17-12  04:10pm

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host2626 (0) I don't care much, as long as the camera work is done well. As littlejoe said, cars are a bad location, as no matter what you try to do with a camera there, the action is always "in your face" and the positions are awkward, unless you have a huge limo. It's not a place to watch it being done in.

Also I don't like it when it's shot outside, but not because of "bad lighting", but because *natural* light requires a higher bitrate than artificial lighting. No problem with studio equipment encoding stuff for DVDs and Bluerays, but quite visible when there is a need to limit bandwidth when encoding movies for a website. Just compare for instance a standard HD shoot, the first outdoors "hello poolboy" part, to when it moves indoors for the "my husband is never home" part. Many more artifacts and less sharpness in the former.

10-17-12  09:37pm

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Drooler (220) The Atacama Desert, the driest place in the world.
10-17-12  10:53pm

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jberryl69 (Disabled) No place is "worst". Only the content of the scene and the heat of the sex is all that matters.
10-18-12  07:12am

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Toadsith (48) REPLY TO #15 - Drooler :

Ohhh, good one. Antarctica would fit in too as it is the driest continent, and coldest for that matter.
10-18-12  12:51pm

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Toadsith (48) REPLY TO #16 - jberryl69 :

Please refer to Drooler's and my answers.

The sheer fatality rate amongst most of the our suggestions would pretty much guarantee an unsuccessful porn scene. Yay for logical extremes!

10-18-12  12:52pm

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Drooler (220) REPLY TO #17 - Toadsith :

No kidding, "penguins in bondage" aside. Doubt we're going to see any "Peter North at the South Pole" series.

It's a logical extreme, and a scrapey, ouchy, chappy one, too. If there's one thing that likes moisture, it's oogie.

10-18-12  04:24pm

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Toadsith (48) REPLY TO #19 - Drooler :

lol - "oogie", I'm so going to add that to my repertoire of synonyms for sex.
10-18-12  05:56pm

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marcdc1 (174) To me I don't care about the scene location as much as the general production value. If there's good lighting and *sound* I don't care where they are. Sound is a particularly important to me, cause I love the interplay between actors when there's good chemistry.
10-18-12  08:15pm

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slutty (111) I agree with Marcus, as long as it is well done I don't really have a problem with any specific shooting location.
10-18-12  08:46pm

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RustyJ (145) Basements. Number one choice for bad, cheapo fetish stuff.
10-19-12  06:07am

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jberryl69 (Disabled) REPLY TO #18 - Toadsith :

ok - well watching my mother have sex. That ends up being TMI even for me. ANYWHERE!!
10-19-12  12:36pm

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Toadsith (48) REPLY TO #24 - jberryl69 :

Ah, so in that example the "worst place to shoot porn" would be: "About my mother's person." lol
10-19-12  01:41pm

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XXX Customer (0) Prison and fire station. I hate it when they shoot porn in a fire station or a prison. Doesn't please me a bit.
10-19-12  04:35pm

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jberryl69 (Disabled) REPLY TO #25 - Toadsith :

Well it really wouldn't matter the place. 88 year old who never really liked sex and one is amazed that she is unhappy. If you just enjoyed sex in your life, regardless of money or marriage or just about anything, it would feel like success.
10-20-12  02:07pm

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Drooler (220) REPLY TO #20 - Toadsith :

It's pronounced with the "oo" of "good," not that of "moon," though the second one does sound cuter.
10-20-12  02:52pm

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skippy (52) Eh, it's more about the ability of the photography team than the location. Well..Although outdoors is usually fine, I'm not thrilled with the girl in the woods shoots where she pretends there is no photographer present or is partially hidden behind a tree.
A good photographer with a good model, good technique and a good demeaner with that model can successfully shoot anywhere.

12-08-12  08:45am

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Terio (0) I saw a movie once with the guy sitted on the toilet. That was horrible. I think any place is fine if you know what to do, except for that one!
12-08-12  11:02pm

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Ambition (15) Showers are the worst place. The noise of running water annoys me, I don't like the look of wet hair and it's very hard to create atmosphere. It's fine as a small part of a scene, but not a complete shower scene, please.
01-23-13  10:21pm

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*Message rows highlighted in light orange are replies to replies.

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