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08-14-12  02:38pm - 279 days How to present something new to the wife. (28 Posts) - #26
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by BadMrFrosty:

Or maybe I am just lucky enough to have found myself one of the 1%


Yup. Congrats on that! "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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08-14-12  04:31am - 280 days How to present something new to the wife. (28 Posts) - #24
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by BadMrFrosty:


Easy, during a casual conversation you ask her if there is anything you don't do in bed that she would like to try. After listening thoughtfully to her response you then tell her what you would like to try. Then you start to barter. Bish bosh, job done.


Haha ... so smooth.

Note, however, that when a guys says, "Is there anything we don't do in bed that you'd like to try, dear?"

(a) 99 percent of us will say "no" (listen thoughtfully to that)

and

(b) we're probably all thinking, "Uh oh, what does he want me to do now?"

Nice try, though. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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08-14-12  04:14am - 280 days mea culpa! (9 Posts) - #10
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by marcdc1:


Thank you all for your understanding. It was an honest and stupid mistake. I'm embarrassed to say I multiplied by 4 instead of the correct number... 12.


I'd worry more about users who are actually doing the math, marc. But you're honorable for alerting us to the miscalculation. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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08-11-12  03:22pm - 282 days Live Cam Shows! (13 Posts) - #2
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		You're a gentleman, messmer.

I expect that any cam model would develop a pretty thick skin -- or else quit the job. It *is* disturbing to witness the abuse some of these models take. Clearly, there are a whole lot of men who have serious issues with women. Anonymity seems to bring out the worst in some.

If I were a cam model, I'd have to adopt the attitude that I'm a paid actress -- a fictional character available for role play. That doesn't mean I'd fulfill the requests of extremists; but when a guy became rude, I'd dismiss him as a crank pathetic enough to engage in name-calling of a virtual model. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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08-09-12  10:26am - 284 days Can Sex Exist Without Love? (23 Posts) - #6
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		An odd question, I think. Sex is a physical activity that need not require romantic connection. The sex trade wouldn't exist otherwise. Chances are the whore you're banging in room 205 isn't your soulmate.

I'm not even convinced that being in love makes for better sex. Being freed of any bond may result in a more honest, passionate session. To each his/her own.

Maybe I'm not grasping the essence of the question. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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08-08-12  09:05am - 285 days Which browser? - Mr. Paranoid (15 Posts) - #10
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		I'm on a Mac, and I use Camino. I'm different. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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08-01-12  08:30pm - 292 days So What Do You Think of Jessie Rogers' Boob Job? (21 Posts) - #6
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:


I don't know if the implants opened some doors because she started doing more anal and that tends to open a lot of doors.


A lot of back doors. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-22-12  02:55pm - 302 days Beads, Boobs, and Beyond (14 Posts) - #5
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by jberryl69:


^wow, looking at some of the index pages for Kacey I think she might end up smothering you with her snuggling.




If she'd lived centuries ago, artists would be sculpting her. She's a classic, voluptuous beauty. My snuggle invitation remains. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-22-12  01:22pm - 302 days Beads, Boobs, and Beyond (14 Posts) - #3
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Capn:


Because she can?

Cap'n.


Ha! She's flaunting.

For the record, I'm fond of Kacey at ShowyBeauty. I would enjoy snuggling with her. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-21-12  01:02pm - 303 days Public Sex / Masturbation Suggestions (to and from) (17 Posts) - #7
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:


^You are so bad. What exactly goes through the mind of a 72 years old man that makes him think that jerking off in a movie theater is a good idea?


Agreed. But what exactly does a cop doing a "random search" expect to find in such a place? It irks me to no end that these sorts of busts take place. As long as Fred's willard is causing no discomfort to anyone else, let him be. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-20-12  12:05pm - 304 days Public Sex / Masturbation Suggestions (to and from) (17 Posts) - #3
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		Public masturbation? Have you tried Fred Willard?

(Sorry.) "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-18-12  07:42pm - 306 days I just read that Hollie Stevens died a couple of weeks back... (5 Posts) - #4
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		Wikipedia says she was a "pioneer" in "clown porn." My goodness, doesn't she deserve a more dignified summary than that? I wasn't even aware that such a porn genre existed.

According to an article I found using Google, the cancer spread to many areas of her body. She probably never had a chance.

As messmer noted, someone that young just shouldn't have to deal with such suffering. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-18-12  03:36pm - 306 days Flash vids at Naughty America (12 Posts) - #5
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Micha:

It looks prurient but beyond that, What the fuck is it?


I certainly wouldn't f*** with it. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-18-12  03:45am - 307 days Lets get down and dirty ! Dare you answer? (17 Posts) - #14
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:

They do all the same shit like spitting, drooling, choking, vomiting and all the other stuff.


Who says romance is dead? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-16-12  03:57pm - 308 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #32
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:


Golly, Chief! I gotta say it's a relief and a pleasure to see that you're still with us. Having not seen you popping up with your usual regulariy has had me worried.


Nothing brings people out of the woodwork like a good grammar debate. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-16-12  12:05pm - 308 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #27
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by jberryl69:


Dammit - you did interrupt, so it can't be Not...just "To interrupt"


Ha -- Khan's been schooled. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-16-12  12:04pm - 308 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #26
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Khan:


Not to interrupt the English grammar lesson, but ...


Khan, please raise your hand before contributing. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-16-12  04:02am - 309 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #22
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

The grammatical error in post #11 I was referring to has to do with a sentence ending in a preparation: "all of which I'm well aware of"


Actually, graymane, there's nothing wrong with ending sentences with prepositions -- that's an age-old prescription that's been discounted for some time. It doesn't mean that a better sentence can't be constructed by moving the preposition elsewhere, but that's a stylistic concern, not grammatical.

Since I do plan to teach at some point, I'll begin toning my calves immediately. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-15-12  07:01pm - 309 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #19
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Location: Providence, RI 		Agreed on all counts, Claypaws. Like you, I side with readability when it comes to these sorts of grammatical conundrums. Besides, graymane deserves a break from the school marm, though I did change my profile pic to appear more stern.

Now, slide me over a nice warm piece of quiche and a cup of cold milk, and let's discuss your salvation. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-15-12  05:28pm - 309 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #17
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:


BTW, Heather .......I'd be interested to know if Miss Grammar picked up on another grammatical bo-bo that I inadvertently made in my #11 post.


Hmm ... well, you have two possible errors involving singular subjects used with plural pronouns or referents:

(1) you use the singular "anyone" (as in "anyone out there") and "they're" (in "they're right"). That sentence should technically be, "But if this thread strikes anyone out there to mean I'm writing all this from personal experience, then naturally HE'S right ..." (or "she's" ... emphasis mine)

(2) you use "all of which" in the last clause, even though your subject is the singular mass noun "variety" (as in "variety of sources" a singular mass noun).

God, I'm getting turned on.

Both cases could conceivably be termed errors, but even Miss Grammar thinks that's being hypercritical. And the second case might very well be correct as is, with the "which" clause understood to be referring only to "sources."

However, you misspelled "boo boo" above. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-15-12  05:09pm - 309 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #16
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Claypaws:

Uninvited callers are inevitably people trying to sell me something or save me from eternal damnation.


Repent now, Claypaws. And pass the quiche, please. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-15-12  03:55pm - 309 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #13
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

It's easy to see she's got a mind sharper than a surgical blade.


Bring me your dangling modifier, and watch me slice. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-15-12  08:02am - 309 days The sinister side of porn (45 Posts) - #7
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

Welcome to Porn addiction.

Exaggeration? Don�t think it ever gets that bad?
Believe it.
Just as sure as sailors long at sea flog-their-log,
The answer speaks for itself...


Thank you for this Public Service Announcement, but you forgot to add, "Soon, you have a photo collection of two to three million."

Also, it will make you blind.

Let's put a poster together for the subways.

Oh, and Miss Grammar advises that it's not possible to "leaf through" Internet sites. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-14-12  12:01pm - 310 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #31
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

Yes it is ... and a very bad one at that.


Then I guess I won't need this after all.

"Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-14-12  11:22am - 310 days When you'd rather not say vagina ... (22 Posts) - #15
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by elephant:


sprung to mind whilst eating my cereals


Cereal as aphrodisiac? Hmm ... pass the Lucky Charms, please. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-14-12  11:17am - 310 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #29
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:


Waiting's not an option, Heather .......Doctor told me I might have only days to live.


Please assure me that this is a joke. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-14-12  04:02am - 311 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #25
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by RagingBuddhist:


You were/are probably the wrong gender.


Ha! I guess I invited that one. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-14-12  04:01am - 311 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #24
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by jberryl69:


It's interesting that Heather's sign-up was Jul 30, 07 so been around for five years and is just now starting to post on a regular basis.


Yeah, I've been intermittent at best. I think I posted to the forum a couple of times the first year or two, then I just forgot about it. Even when I'd come and read reviews occasionally, I'd forget about the forum. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-12-12  05:38pm - 312 days Hit & Miss, new TV series about a she-male contract killer. (15 Posts) - #9
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by lk2fireone:


HeatherMcXxx, over half the boy-girl porn videos I've seen the guy has a flaccid penis at some point.


I wasn't really referring to porn scenes. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-12-12  09:42am - 312 days Hit & Miss, new TV series about a she-male contract killer. (15 Posts) - #4
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by jberryl69:

She tells TV Guide magazine, "(I cried) every time I wore it.


I cry every time I see a flaccid penis, too. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-12-12  04:32am - 313 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #21
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

That's to say, You're not gonna confess you're actually a man, Heaven forbid!


Haha. Not that kind of surprise -- that would be a drag.

Though it sure worked in The Crying Game. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-11-12  05:59pm - 313 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #17
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		Glad we're on the same page, graymane. Just wait for the surprise ending! "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-11-12  04:26am - 314 days When you'd rather not say vagina ... (22 Posts) - #9
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by elephant:

Holey Poley


Ha -- I like that. Sounds like the hokey pokey -- "you put it in and shake it all about"? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-10-12  07:04pm - 314 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #13
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Micha:


Things you could say :
(most everything here will evoke a positive response )

Wanna see my pussy in church ?


I tried that, but the priest showed no interest.

Thanks for the wonderfully entertaining post, Micha.

Of course, while I don't doubt the sincerity of anything you've said above, a female who acts sluttish, wanton, etc., tends to have a short shelf life with a male. Approaching a guy and exclaiming "Want to see my pussy?" assures you of a night with said male (or at least a quickie) and probably no more. Am I wrong? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-10-12  06:55pm - 314 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #12
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by messmer:


All I needed was to feel love and desire coming from my partner and then hold her, silky to the touch, lingerie clad body for a moment or two. That's all it takes (took) to get me going.

Emotions played a huge part in my sex life that's why casual sex was out, not for moral reasons but because I did need to feel that loving bond between my partner and myself.

Sorry to be so serious about the subject but I still mourn, age and illness have robbed me of a very important part of my life. Porn is good but it isn't real life.


Hugs, messmer. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-10-12  06:54pm - 314 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #11
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

lay a cornucopia of stuff about just about anything.


Wow ... did you just use "cornucopia"? Be still my beating heart.

Take me, graymane. I'm an open book for you. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-10-12  03:54am - 315 days When you'd rather not say vagina ... (22 Posts) - Original Post - #1
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		When you'd rather not say vagina ...

As a lover of language, I'm always delighted to experience inventive terms, especially regarding sex. Someone on tumblr has been circulating a list of euphemisms for the vagina, and while some are disgusting and many negative, I did enjoy these 10 euphemistic alternatives quite a lot:

beef curtains
cloven tuft
dick sharpener
flesh tuxedo
lapland
mount pleasant
pipe cleaner
snake charmer
vertical grimace
willy washer "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-10-12  03:41am - 315 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - #5
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		All good points, graymane (and slutty, too). Glad I could "pump" you for info.

The art of erotic massage is, indeed, incomparable when performed by a skillful masseuse. I think all of us -- Johnsons and non-Johnsons alike -- should enjoy the experience and commit ourselves to learning the craft as a way of pleasing our partners in unexpected and wonderfully satisfying ways. You don't have to be an expert, after all: just competent enough (and sensitive enough) to bring your partner (slowly and skillfully) to a knee-slapping conclusion (or some such).

You may live somewhere that has a class you can take (recommended), but there's plenty of info available, and if you combine that with enjoying the experience yourself occasionally with a pro (plop down some cash, claim you're doing research), you'll be miles ahead of most in the bedroom. Think how impressed and surprised your lover will be when you glide your fingers lightly, up and down, over the backs of their legs and along the inner thighs and ... whatever's next. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-09-12  07:25pm - 315 days @ PU Members with Johnsons (38 Posts) - Original Post - #1
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		@ PU Members with Johnsons

In another thread, Micha asked those of us with vaginas to list those things that make a woman squirm in bed. I invite all of you with penises to suggest how we (i.e., those of us with vaginas) might better tickle your fancy in the bedroom. I'm hoping to gain some valuable tips here. Any takers? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-09-12  07:14pm - 315 days PU Members with Vaginas (7 Posts) - #8
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:

The hell with my head, it's my balls that I'd worry about


HAHA! That's what you get for being "straightforward," graymane.

I loved your post! I have a weakness for punsters. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-07-12  05:23pm - 317 days Hey, I am new here and I wanted to say hi (4 Posts) - #5
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Cybertoad:


How many post do I have to have to get my Rookie Badge Khan ?


Aren't you sheriff, Cybertoad? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-07-12  02:56pm - 317 days PU Members with Vaginas (7 Posts) - #5
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Micha:


Heather, that in fact was not a good reply. It was a great reply. You give wings to words.


This might sound cheesy, I know, but this post made my week.



Thanks, Micha -- a big hug to you. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-07-12  02:53pm - 317 days Do you have something you don't find the least bit interesting in porn (53 Posts) - #45
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Drooler:


Pictures of the girl leaping in mid-air. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with those.


Haha! I laughed out loud at this. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-07-12  03:15am - 318 days "Are you done, yet" - why do we watch porn (32 Posts) - #33
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by graymane:


Where else could a lady immerse yourself around a pool of guys possessed with this kind of positive intellect?


I'm hoping that's a rhetorical question. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-07-12  03:13am - 318 days "Are you done, yet" - why do we watch porn (32 Posts) - #32
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by turboshaft:

my views on relationships ... run from cynical to downright nihilistic.


You're a nihilist, turbo? That must be exhausting. (Sorry, couldn't resist a Big Lebowski reference.) "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-07-12  03:01am - 318 days "Are you done, yet" - why do we watch porn (32 Posts) - #31
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:

I like your suggestion about doing house work but it has to be a regular thing or you know she will be suspicious of the deed.


I promise, pat, that no woman can resist a man who cleans -- even on occasion. That's certain to bring out the dirty in her. Sweep her off her feet! "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-06-12  04:46pm - 318 days PU Members with Vaginas (7 Posts) - #2
HeatherMcXxx (10)
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Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		I guess I'll begin.

I think the first thing to emphasize is that women are mysterious, elusive, endlessly fascinating, complex. (You may elect to use different descriptors. ) Men, on the other hand, are relatively predictable.

That difference is reflected in our bodies. A man's organ is fairly straightforward. Its purpose is pretty much clear from its appearance. Here's an analogy: when you pick up a ball, you know instinctively that it's designed to be thrown -- no instruction manual necessary. Well, it's clear what a penis is for, and while you'll rightly point out that some women are better at handling your johnson than others, what a woman needs to do is pretty obvious -- not a lot of variation there -- and the results are predictable.

Not so with the feminine species. Our cave of wonders is secretive, hidden by folds, requiring exploration. And because no two women are alike, the results of your work aren't predictable. Consider these friends/acquaintances of mine:

--one cannot achieve orgasm unless she's penetrated; others don't enjoy being penetrated at all except by a penis (i.e., no fingers, no toys)

--one can achieve orgasm merely by having her nipples caressed; another has nipples that aren't sensitive, and she thus finds no enjoyment in having them sucked, squeezed, etc. However, if her breasts are gently shaken from side to side, *that's* arousing

--some love gentle rubbing of their vaginas; others love to grind their clitoris hard against whatever's available; one of my friends masturbates by staring at a dot on the wall and blocking everything else out until she has an orgasm (though intense rubbing of her clit); another places lit candles around the bathtub, imagines an elaborate scene for an hour or more, and eventually is carried away to O-land

--some love dirty talk; others are deeply offended by name-calling (same with rough play)

You get the point. You have to read the signs. If you're getting soft moans and movements that match yours, you're golden; if she's silent and still, time for Plan B.

Also, recognize that women's bodies have lots of unexpected spots that are surprisingly arousing (on the neck, for example, or the inner thigh, or the back of the leg, etc.). But those areas change from woman to woman, and we don't always know what those spots are. We depend on our lovers to help us discover those places. Even those of us who can bring ourselves to orgasm still don't know all of the hidden treasures contained in our own vessels. Part of the joy of lovemaking is learning such stuff.

So take your time, be creative, explore from head to toe, enjoy the experience (and let her know you're enjoying it ... we love to be told we're exciting you).

Oh, and be careful, because you might run into a woman who slaps her knees together when she orgasms. Like me. So be prepared to read the signs and get your head out of there just in time.

I hope that helped at least somewhat. Now get to work -- you've got some exploring to do. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-06-12  12:38pm - 318 days "Are you done, yet" - why do we watch porn (32 Posts) - #25
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by Jay G:


Went and checked the link on 10 Reasons Why Women Love Bad Boys and loved it, but had to add this:

The most important reason to love bad boys: When your life gets really fucked up you can blame them for everything! You are the victim and cannot be blamed no matter what. They are BAD.

And those "nice" guys will still offer you everything no matter how much you treat them like shit! Win-win, right?

Oh, except for the fucked up life, I guess.


That's some theory, Jay. Have issues with women much? "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-06-12  12:33pm - 318 days "Are you done, yet" - why do we watch porn (32 Posts) - #24
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI
Originally Posted by pat362:

If you decide to give us some tips on making our girls squirm in bed then please start another thread so that everyone knows what it is about. This way others can add to it or as the case may be ask you tons of questions. We could even start a ask Heater thread.


Ha! Well, my 50 tips was tongue in cheek, and I'm not sure I'd be such a great advice columnist. Women are so different, after all. But if you really want to make your gal squirm, do the dishes and vacuum. I *promise* she'll be putty in your hands the rest of the night. Eating chicken is optional.

Seriously, though, if any of you do have specific questions, feel free message me. I'll do my best to provide adequate counsel. "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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07-05-12  12:41pm - 319 days How to present something new to the wife. (28 Posts) - #16
HeatherMcXxx (10)
Active User



Posts: 69
Registered: Jul 30, '07
Location: Providence, RI 		Wow -- I'd be careful with this one. If she's open to more primal sex, then build up to it and gauge her reaction. Start with some dirty talk, then, if she's open to that, be a little more adventurous until you have the courage to tell her what you want. Maybe you can save it for a special occasion -- your birthday, for example; tell her how sexy she is and how much it would mean to you to do this.

Keep this in mind: if you try it, and she's not into at all, it won't be worth it. It won't be a positive memory, and it won't be an image that excites you in the future (i.e., your wife recoiling in horror).

I thus strongly encourage you not to simply do it. Sex is a shared experience, and while some women enjoy being used like props, that doesn't appear to be the case with your wife, and the ramifications for you may be entirely negative.

That doesn't mean you can't have a fulfilling sex life. In fact, I think guys give up too soon if they sense hesitancy. But really, sometimes the idea has to sink in before we respond to it. You married her: do everything you can to make it work. The idea that you're so casually saying, "Should I find somebody else?" is troubling, to say the least -- and pretty immature. (Sorry to be so harsh.)

Heather "Whoever has the vagina is in charge." - Megan Fox
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