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09-22-14  08:15pm - 7 days the danger of cloud based systems (19 Posts) - #18
thirstyfish (0)
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^ Well said, Pat. It's often noted that if you're using a free service (such as Google, Dropbox, FaceBook, etc.) you are not the customer; you are the product.

Cybertoad - mentioning punch cards brings back some memories - some of them not too fond. As in not punching the cards with sequence numbers and then dropping your deck.

Ever use one of the Univac 1004 monsters? State of the art back in the day. You could submit your job (card deck) remotely - yourself, no less. And watch the output get printed on 132 column, tractor-feed, green bar paper. Wheeee.

Computing has definitely gotten better in many respects. As for the "Cloud" - lots of marketing hype and very insecure - whether you pay the cloud provider or it's a freebie. And it's yet another single point of failure. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-29-14  01:30pm - 31 days Based on experience - why bother join pay sites? (15 Posts) - #7
thirstyfish (0)
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It doesn't sound to me that Schirm is advocating ditching pay sites in favor of tube sites.

What I'm hearing is that the things you'd expect to get from a pay site (quality content, reliable and above board business practices, and respect for customers' privacy) are often missing. And if those things are missing from a pay site, why do business with them?

My main reasons for dropping a site subscription are: predictable content or no new content, billing problems, sharing personal info, incomplete performer data, poor search facilities, poor presentation layer/UI, reduced functionality/feature set.

Note that "predictable content" is a subjective call on my part: I enjoy cinematic scenes (as opposed to POV) and scenes that focus on the women - not the guys.

Fortunately, my e-mail provider has pretty good spam filtering so most of it never makes it to my in-box. But there's no doubt that my e-mail address has been shared around. My spam box is full of rubbish that is the result of subscribing to pay sites. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

06-18-14  05:48pm - 103 days "A Rosebud By Any Other Name..." (25 Posts) - #7
thirstyfish (0)
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I remember reading an article years ago (20+) in one of the local Mpls papers (Twin Cities Reader, City Pages, or some such) about the realities of anal intercourse as it pertains to porn girls (injuries, incontinence, infections, the need for semi-permanent butt plugs, etc.). Not exactly romantic stuff - but then political journalism usually isn't.

The Vice article, in this sense, is nothing new.

I found Ms. Lhooq's statement "What used to be taboo is now a staple, and the public is taking notice." insightful. This certainly happened in the mid-1960's when the themes depicted in exploitation/schlock movies started to go mainstream.

Regarding prolapsing: I'm aware of it, have watched it, and consider it a form of hard-core shock inflation. It is eye-grabbing in a 'WTF?' sort of way but it doesn't do a whole lot for me. So when I do run across it, I may watch or, more likely, not. I.E., I'm not a fan.

As for doing something about it? I prefer to quietly vote with my wallet. You could call that a head-in-the-sand attitude given that a LOT of users don't bother to pay for what they watch but I'm not much of an activist.

That said, I try to steer clear of the popular pastime of looking for reasons to be outraged and offended since it can sometimes lead to hyperbole, judgementalism and intolerance.

Thanks for the link, Turbo - an interesting read and it's spawned a good discussion here. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

06-11-14  05:28pm - 110 days AB 1576 passes committee (44 Posts) - #41
thirstyfish (0)
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Pat, I'm not sure a link to Mr. South's blog (in and of itself) is a compelling argument for AB 1576. While it is a sometimes entertaining site, it's rather like a modern day version of a gossip rag: one part innuendo, a pinch of rumor, a dash of speculation, and over-seasoned with schadenfreude.

Unless you're suggesting (and this is tongue-firmly-in-cheek) that one of the benefits if 1576 is passed into law is that Mr. South will have nothing left to write about so he'll fold up his website.

Mr. South didn't even bother to provide a citation for the actual study results - though one of his three or four regular posters came to his rescue and did.

Adult Film Performers Transmission Behaviors and STI Prevalence study:

http://www.aidshealth.org/wp-content/upl...-Prevention-2014.pdf

One thing that is compelling: the study counters the often-heard assertion that porn performers - because of testing, treatment and tracking - are at less risk from STIs than the general population.

The CDC reports in 2012 the infection rate for chlamydia in the general US population as being 0.45% (456.7 cases per 100,000) and the study found for performers the rate is 14.9%.

The CDC reports in 2012 an infection rate for gonorrhea in the general US population as being 0.11% (107.5 cases per 100,000) and the study found for performers the rate is 11.3%.

CDC numbers are here:

http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats12/chlamydia.htm
http://www.cdc.gov/std/stats12/gonorrhea.htm

Based on the numbers, a porn performer is about 32 times more likely to suffer from a chlamydia infection and about 96 times more likely to suffer from a gonorrhea infection than someone in the general population.

Setting aside the questions of biased methodologies, skewed sampling and errors in number crunching, those rates are not good news for porn performers.

Another interesting study finding is that 9.1% of gonorrhea infections and 3.3% of chlamydia infections were pharyngeal - i.e., infections at the back of the throat. That suggests upcoming legislation requiring porn performers to use dental dams.

While AB 1576 on the surface seems to be an effort to protect California porn performers (which it may indeed do), beneath the waterline there is a larger agenda. Whether that agenda is accidental or or by design is unclear.

Since the Federal and state governments don't exactly have a sterling record regarding health and safety (not to mention privacy), one might conclude the larger agenda is not accidental.

US Federal and state governments (and 'concerned' citizens) did indeed learn something from the debacle that was the Volstead Act/18th Amendment. If you want to get rid of something, you don't do it with sweeping, draconian legislation and enforcement. You do it a little bit at a time addressing both the supply and the demand, over the course of years and decades.

AB 1576 and the Adult Film Performers Transmission Behaviors and STI Prevalence study are examples of 'the death of a thousand cuts'.

Speculation: in twenty years porn will have gone the way of the bicycle riding, circus midway shows and Halloween. It will still exist in some tamed, institutional, 'nice and safe' form - but it will be almost unrecognizable from what it is today. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong. Edited on Jun 11, 2014, 05:49pm

05-24-14  08:27pm - 128 days AB 1576 passes committee (44 Posts) - #13
thirstyfish (0)
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This is a good topic and a great discussion. For the record, I don't like condoms in porn scenes.

If AB 1576 becomes law in California: we're going to see a lot more studios making condom scenes.

Will condoms help to protect porn girls and guys? Yes: during the making of the scenes.

What goes on away from the cameras and outside of the studio is a whole different story.

As for the question: "Is 1576 about condoms only for vaginal and anal intercourse?", as amended (on 2014-05-14) the answer seems to be yes:

http://leginfo.legislature.ca.gov/faces/...ad099ecb341bff76f58a

(A) Each time an employee performing in an adult film engaged in vaginal or anal intercourse, personal protective equipment was used to protect the employee from exposure to bloodborne pathogens. This paragraph shall not be construed to require that the personal protective equipment be visible to the consumer in the finished film.

There are other options are open to studios - but they'll likely involve additional costs and it seems the goal for most studios is to churn out the product as fast and cheap as possible.

The obvious solution: make sure you really have got the best politicians money can buy.

There's an interesting 'out' in 1576 given the protection isn't required to be visible in the final product. Falcon Studios got some press early this year (2014) regarding their intention to digitally remove condoms in a post-production process. Not sure what became of that but it certainly adds cost to the final product.

Studios could move to other states. That'd be expensive and porn is legal in California and New Hampshire only. I don't see those sunny California folk enjoying two feet of New Hampshire snow. If there's a production spike in Arizona or Florida someone might notice and kick up a fuss and maybe look at adopting 1576-like regulations for themselves.

Studios could try to go 'underground' but in today's interconnected world trying to run an underground operation would be difficult (and dangerous!). Imagine trying to run a porn studio/site without using a credit card processor. Yeah, just leave your cash in a brown paper bag behind that dumpster at the end of the alley.

Floating studios in international waters - pricey and dangerous. Look out for real pirates.

Orbital studios - even more pricey and dangerous. Though zero-G scenes would probably be interesting to watch. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

05-21-14  09:10pm - 131 days AB 1576 passes committee (44 Posts) - #3
thirstyfish (0)
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^ For California studios that operate on tiny margins (would that be all of them?), in addition to the costs of testing and proper condom protocol/OPIM disposal, there's another concern: loss of subscription revenue.

In other words, for each person who doesn't mind paying for condom-porn there is likely to be a person who does. And those who do mind condom-porn may indeed choose to spend their money elsewhere (at least for the near future).

Studio revenues have already taken a big hit due to so many users being trained to expect free porn (via tubes, torrents, etc.). Studios may soon have to contend with the additional costs of compliance with ever-increasing government regulation and scrutiny.

Of course studios are concerned about the additional costs associated with AB 1576. But are they going to stand up in legislative hearings and say: "Golly! These new regulations mean doggoned additional costs that are going to drive us right out of business."?

That's about as likely as bunch of legislators and 'concerned activists' openly stating their fervent desire to shut down the porn industry.

Politicians and Porn Studios have this much in common: neither side is going to honestly discuss their true intentions and agendas. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

03-26-14  03:56pm - 187 days I have nothing against the men in porn, but… (7 Posts) - #4
thirstyfish (0)
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I agree with you RA.

I suspect at certain sites the porn guys get same-or-better billing than the women for several reasons. Most of the directors are current or former porn guys; I.E., the 'good old boys club' effect. Many times the 'guy' is also the 'director' (at least in Gonzo) - so there's a clear element of self-promotion. Backlash from the way porn scenes used to be: the guy was essentially an anonymous prop. Attempt to appeal to a larger audience. The unfortunate trend towards porn as some kind of competitive sporting event. And it doesn't help that, these days, the women seem to have really short careers.

I'm rather tired of seeing the same 15-to-20 (seemingly immortal) guys, aggressively grinding their way through the same clichéd stunts, upstaging the women at every opportunity, and being billed as 'super stars' to boot. This leads to (IMO) stultifying scenes.

The general trend bugs me to the point that I've canceled many of my accounts at the larger US/Euro porn sites. And if a site does look interesting, I do some research and if the old same guys show up in the 'porn star' list or in the scene credits: I pass. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

02-16-14  01:44pm - 225 days Condom Use in Jynx Maze February Scene on Brazzers (25 Posts) - #21
thirstyfish (0)
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This is a very good discussion.

For the record: I dislike condom porn and avoid watching it when possible.

What keeps coming to mind is the metaphor of the silver bullet. Whether one talks about slaying werewolves, revolutionizing software engineering, or creating safe workplaces: there are no silver bullets. (Granted - sometimes it kind of works in the monster movies but there's always some poor character who gets bitten *just before* the nasty werewolf is wiped out).

There are a lot of silver bullet laws that seemed like good ideas at the time; chock full of 'pro bono' vis-à-vis the children, travelers, consumers, workers, etc. - which too often led to that uncanny sea of unintended
consequences. It's really difficult (if not impossible) to legislate behavior.

The 'condoms for vaginal/anal penetration' regulations in California could be just the beginning of the slide. As companies move production shoots to other states to avoid the regs, other state/OSHAs -in response- may enact regulations similar to California's And if the slope gets a bit more slippery (pun intended), additional regs may address OPIMs.

While the Cal/OSHA condom regs are ostensibly about protecting the health and safety of porn workers (and, in fact, the regs may do just that), I have the suspicion they are also about regulating California-made porn out of existence. That, and governments rarely pass up an opportunity to make themselves larger and more pervasive.

We live in interesting times. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

09-03-13  07:44pm - 391 days Is It Incompetence Or Is It Intentional? (31 Posts) - #11
thirstyfish (0)
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This part of the thread is getting wonderfully funny. Thank you for the chuckles

Let us not neglect post-production ... and the welcome back to reality continuity error.

Watched a couple of scenes recently (Obedience School 2 and a London Keyes/Jessica Jaymes massage parlour thingee).

At one point in OS2, the gals basically rip the shirt off the guy. Cut to the next sequence and the guy's shirt is back on. Did he get cold?

In the G/G scene, Jessica is getting undressed for her 'rub down'. First sequence and off comes the jewelry, shirt and the sandals. Cut to the next sequence and off come the pants and sandals. She is really taking the heck off of those sandals.

We're not talking about nailing the consistency on some elaborate dinner scene for a table set with 100 props or something.

Shirt. Sandals. How difficult can it be? Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

09-02-13  11:01am - 392 days Is It Incompetence Or Is It Intentional? (31 Posts) - #3
thirstyfish (0)
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You raise some interesting questions and make some good observations, Marphel.

I think many scenes suffer from errors of commission and errors of omission.

It's tricky to attribute these to incompetence or as intentional. I keep telling myself: don't attribute to ill intent that which can be better be explained by incompetence. Except when you see the same errors over and over again: then it's a bad habit, not a mistake.

Here are some opinions/theories.

Producers/directors want to return maximum ROI to their investors - who I suspect are not subscribers like ourselves.

The name of the game in making a scene or photo shoot is: get it done as fast as possible. Taking the time to 'do it right' makes for a more expensive product.

No single person is responsible for managing a given scene or photo shoot from beginning to end.

Competition between directors takes the form of imitation, rather than innovation or quality.

The female talent pool is awash with neophytes who, performance-wise, are not yet able to 'hold their own' against the relatively small and (over) seasoned pool of male performers.

Many directors are former or current male performers and, as such, they allow the guys to engage in general tomfoolery and upstaging hijinks: i.e. stunts. Stunts are a way to pad the scene and/or an attempt to appeal to a cross-over market. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-17-13  09:22am - 408 days Still too much wham-bam-thank-you-mam in porn (35 Posts) - #23
thirstyfish (0)
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Porn does seem to be a lot of wham/bam macho stuff. Especially agreeing with Marphel regarding scenes that focus too much on the male performers. Perhaps this is because too many of them are pretending to be 'directors'.

I don't like scenes that are little more than insipid, stunt-ridden performances by the guys with the women relegated to being sockets. These scenes (of which there are way too many) seem like pro wrestling: obviously scripted, staged, and entirely predictable in outcome. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-12-13  07:49am - 413 days Italian Friends on the Bus (157 Posts) - #127
thirstyfish (0)
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A guy walks into a cocktail lounge. He's lugging a large trunk. He walks up to the bar, selects a stool and sits down. The guy puts the trunk on the bar. He opens it and removes a brass lantern, a miniature piano, and a little ten inch man dressed in concert attire. The guy arranges them on the bar.

The little man walks over to the piano, sits down, shoots his cuffs, and starts playing beautiful music. The ten inch pianist is a virtuoso.

The bartender walks up to the guy and says, "That's incredible! This is the most wonderful piano music I've ever heard. Where did you get a miniature piano and a ten inch piano player?"

"This", says the guy holding up the brass lantern, "is a magic lantern. With it you can make a single wish."

"Look, mister, could I make a wish on your magic lantern?", says the bartender.

"Sure, go ahead. But you've got to be careful and state your wish very clearly, otherwise the lantern will get confused", says the guy.

The bartender pauses, thinks, and says, "Okay. I wish for a million bucks".

There's silence for a moment, then the sound of quacking gets louder and louder, and finally a huge flock of ducks waddles into the bar.

"What the hell?", says the bartender, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"

The guy replies, "Well, do you really think I wished for a ten inch pianist?". Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-06-13  08:58am - 419 days Is the PU Newsletter dead? (27 Posts) - #27
thirstyfish (0)
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Free and Safe might be good in that could be a nice preview mechanism and it would attract new users because many casual users have been trained by the tube sites to expect free porn. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-04-13  07:14pm - 421 days Time to Re-invent? (9 Posts) - #7
thirstyfish (0)
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It sounds like you're describing a form of psycho-active technology that would allow the user to experience (in addition to sight and sound) the senses of touch, taste, smell, balance and position.

I think you're right, Graymane: the subscription would be a wee bit more than $29.95/month.

And what if the medium got pushy? You try to unplug to grab some dinner or a take a nap and virtual Deb says: 'Hold it buddy, you're not going anywhere. Get back over here right now!'

The so-called 'legit' film industry is pretty darn unoriginal, too. Seems like they'd rather churn out yet another CGI-fest, super hero/adventure flick (version 5) for $200,000,000 than fund 10 original efforts at twenty million each.

Same deal with porn. In-your-face with lots of drooling and rough housing sells. Let's make some more of that.

It might come down to making the investors happy by producing (perceived) low-risk product. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-04-13  06:36pm - 421 days The Manwin porn portal business model (12 Posts) - #12
thirstyfish (0)
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Pat, thank you for the Mike South link. I'm still reading (and re-reading) Manwin-related articles there.

It rather sounds like Manwin is imploding.

I'm now thinking the porn portal offer may have an additional aspect to it. Because it does look like a good deal, it will probably bring in new subscription revenue. Which Manwin can use to placate its investors and keep them at bay.

Seems like these guys created a business model that has a built-in 'shoot self in foot' aspect: The tube sites train (casual) users to expect and demand free porn. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-03-13  09:06pm - 422 days The Manwin porn portal business model (12 Posts) - #8
thirstyfish (0)
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This is a very interesting thread. To Pat's point 4 (above) regarding Manwin's financial state and legal problems, here's a link to an article

http://nymag.com/news/features/70985/

which talks about Brazzers, Mansef, free tube sites, and Manwin.

The article is admittedly a bit out of date (published in early 2011) however if you've not seen it before, it is a good read and on page two is an interesting diagram.

I believe late in 2012 Fabian Thylmann (the main Manwin partner) was extradited from Belgium to Germany on suspicion of tax evasion.

Perhaps with this Brazzers porn portal offer, Manwin is more interested in taking business away other producers/sites rather than directly make money for itself?

To paraphrase Pratchett: "The reason for being in business is not to provide a better service; the reason for being in business is to provide the only service" Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-02-13  10:23pm - 423 days Is the PU Newsletter dead? (27 Posts) - #7
thirstyfish (0)
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Hi all,

As a relative newbie: I'm impressed with the quality of PU. I've not found a more thoughtful or inciteful forum yet. I don't know how things used to be here. Maybe they've followed the overall porn curve: seems like the glory days for some web sites (based on content) was in 2004 to 2007 - and things started winding down after the bubble burst in late 2007.

For porn it does seem to be a 'best of times/worst of times' dichotomy. It's never been easier to get material though I do miss those rather clandestine expeditions to that part of town to get some mags or a tape.

OTOH, it seems like acquiring porn today is rather buying socks. You find the little specialty shops you used to frequent have all closed and you end up at some huge shopping mall that has 40 stores selling socks.

A couple of other analogies come to mind.

The cable TV syndrome. Today there are hundreds of channels to watch and most of them are junk. There was a time (back in the 80's) when cable TV had something to offer.

The early days of radio: there were small amateur radio stations operated by true enthusiasts (who were not trying to commoditize the medium to death). Not any more. The big companies have taken over and it's too expensive and regulated for a little guy to get started these days.

Right now I'm looking for another site to join. I've got a couple in mind but one of them is a Manwin company and the other is a rather pricey niche site. The others that looked sort of interesting, no longer do: largely based on comments and reviews from right here at PU and TBP.

Pat mentions above "...there are simply no new sites that are worth discussing except to tell people not to join them and most of the established ones are starting to look worse each week so talking about them is depressing."

Depressing as it that may seem, it's also very valuable info to have, Pat. For which I'm grateful. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

08-01-13  05:54pm - 424 days porn sex VS real sex. (20 Posts) - #9
thirstyfish (0)
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Hi Graymane,
Hoping each and every day brings you renewed strength and recovery. Get better soonest. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

07-31-13  04:33pm - 425 days porn sex VS real sex. (20 Posts) - #2
thirstyfish (0)
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That was quite enjoyable

Well, gotta run. For some reason I'm feeling hungry. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

05-31-13  04:24pm - 486 days Banks to porn stars: Your money's not welcome (11 Posts) - #11
thirstyfish (0)
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Hi JB,

Thanks for the tip on "The Big Short".

"Inside Job" by Charles Ferguson is a scary movie to watch - it's about the 2008 financial meltdown.

I agree with you that banks are notorious about passing along the results of their heinous tomfoolery to us. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

05-30-13  05:08pm - 487 days Banks to porn stars: Your money's not welcome (11 Posts) - #9
thirstyfish (0)
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Banks are big on risk management and reputational risk is high on the list of risks.

They figure that once the media or politicians get hold of something that makes the bank look bad, account holders will leave in protest or big investors will dump their positions.

Many banks have been caught laundering money, pushing bogus investments (like CDOs), and/or engaging in questionable mortgage lending practices. The result is usually a relatively small fine or they get acquired by another big bank.

I can see why a bank would deny a pornstar accounts, but don't agree with it. Seems hypocritical to me. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

05-30-13  04:02pm - 487 days Why did you join or use Porn Users & TBP ? (12 Posts) - #4
thirstyfish (0)
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Hi All,

I ran across PU/TBP by accident several months ago, doing a google search on 'the sorry state of porn', found the forum thread, read it, and thought to myself: 'Wow, these guys are reading my mind'.

I browsed a few more PU threads and concluded the members here are thoughtful, well-spoken, and have interesting things to say.

At that time I wanted to join a site or three (and not get badly burned), so I started reading reviews. The official TBP reviews are of better quality than those I read on other review sites. I found many of the other review sites had fluffy, 'all-is-goodness-and-light' reviews, whereas TBP reviews had facts and useful caveats in them.

The user reviews here are objective and very useful. Particularly the 'cons' sections.

I joined, honestly, because one of the sites I have a membership on did a recent 'upgrade' (evidently, minimal beta testing or QA done), and the e-mails I sent to support were duly ignored (*gasp*).

I figured maybe if I asked the questions here, I'd get some kind of insider response. I was pleasantly surprised when an insider did respond. They haven't fulfilled all their promises yet, but did answer most of my questions. In my message, I noted several outright errors on the site and some of these have been fixed.

Anyway - that's it in a nutshell. Hello to everyone from a new guy. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

05-27-13  08:52pm - 490 days NewsLetter Measure B (36 Posts) - #37
thirstyfish (0)
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Looks like the Measure B violation against Immoral Productions was overturned according to an article in AVN.

Here's the link:

http://business.avn.com/articles/video/I...y-Health-518190.html



A measure to make Measure B statewide in California (Assembly Bill 332) was killed in an appropriations committee.

More info here:

http://business.avn.com/articles/legal/F...ommittee-518556.html Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

05-21-13  10:34pm - 496 days Do you have something you don't find the least bit interesting in porn (58 Posts) - #55
thirstyfish (0)
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- Studios/producers/directors churning out essentially identical content (often with the same performers) and competing with each other by cutting production costs. Visiting some of the sites and previewing scenes is like going to the Dollar Store: lots of inventory on the shelves and much of it is redundant junk.

- Actors (the boys and the girls) who spend too much time jabbering, shouting, yelling, and cursing. Diarrhea of the mouth is bad news. Nothing like hearing, at the end of a scene, some guy remarking 'Wow, baby, I got so much cum in your hair!'.

- The porn guy who is displaying his mildly bored "Meh, it's a living." face and belatedly realizes the camera has been focused on him for the last three seconds. He tries for a save by launching into a quick series of ecstasy faces. This is worse when the surprised porn guy is also the director.

- Obvious continuity errors, while fun to pick out, are uninteresting because they wipe out suspension of disbelieve.

- The 'cult-of-the-porn-guy' trend. Way too many scenes where the directors and/or the male talent (sometimes: one and the same) think the scenes are about the stunt cocks (no disrespect intended, BTW. I happen to view these guys as largely interchangeable and, at best, they should be in a supporting role).

- Scenes where the women are passive cock-socket manikins.

- POV 'blow job' scenes. If one can even call the current oral technique a blow job. Seems more like cock buffing than cock sucking. POV is less expensive to shoot, so it is very popular. The scenes are often heavily padded: the ladies spend a lot of time pulling off to drool, sigh, have a little chin-wag with the camera, and/or arrange their disheveled hair (often messed up because the guy has been wrestling with her head to assert his awesome, dominant self). When the gal pulls off, the guy often goes in masturbation mode, and since we're talking POV: the largest thing on the screen is some dude stroking himself. The scene often ends with the inevitible jerk off finish. R.I.P. oral creampie.

To me, true POV is like watching someone trying to prepare a fine meal and re-wire his home theater system at the same time. High probability of two botched efforts.

- Scenes that blend together aspects of a circus side-show act, professional wrestling, and a OB/GYN check-up with a procto exam thown in for good measure (sometimes including a speculum and a micro arthroscopic camera). The non-invasive parts of the scene are shot in such extreme closeup that you start to wonder if the actors have more body parts than a crotch, butt, head, and right hand. This kind of scene is fun to watch a few times at most - and then becomes boring and predictable.

- Overly stylistic or idiosyncratic camera work.

- Lesbian scenes that are performance art. Lots of fun for the performers and highly significant to the privileged insiders who 'get it' and pretty damn boring and pretentious for those of us who don't.

- Guys who wear enough glitzy costume jewelry to set off airport metal detectors in the five county area.

- Wrist watches (or to be more precise: bloody stupid, ostentatious chronographs). Why do porn guys always wear wrist watches? I previwed a scene where David Perry stomps into the room wearing a watch on both wrists. What is up with that? I suspect if that question could be answered we'd also know why porn gals always wear shoes.

- Lesbian scenes that devolve into a cross between 'The View' and some type of Home Shopping Network show. I.E., After some nice action, the star and her girl friends sit around, showing off their crotches to the camera (usually nice crotches, BTW!) and relate some (presumably) humorous anecdotes about that first time she got a tattoo in a really sensitive area and she almost tore the tattoo guy's arm off: you should have seen the look on his face!, or the time the enema bag exploded and one of the pieces almost hit Debbie, like, in the eye, and that's why I recommend Acme Reliable Industrial Strength Enema Bags to all my friends and co-workers, and then there was that time one of the gals lost her balance during a particularly tricky maneuver and accidentally kneed Manuel Ferrara in the batch really, really hard, and he was out of action for, like two
weeks, and the doctors thought that maybe he had, like, you know, a rupture (OMG, OMG!), but eventually he tweeted her that he was feeling okey, and they, did, like, another scene together and had a pretty good chuckle over it, Oh, he's such a sweetheart. Porn happens because a large number of things amazingly fail to go wrong.

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