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09-03-15  05:18pm - 23 hrs More Random Levity (73 Posts) - #73
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're also going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"





He said: "Who fucked up your hair!?" unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

08-24-15  02:58pm - 11 days Craig Larson died this morning. (0 Posts) - Original Post - #1
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
Craig Larson died this morning.

Craig Larson died this morning.

Craig had nothing to do with porn….. Well, actually he had everything to do with porn. Every still image you have ever seen has a bunch of Larsen patents in its provenance. Never heard of him? Bill Gates and Steve Jobs knew him well. Their companies have been facing him in court for decades for their infringement of his patents. Rest easy Craig. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. Edited by Staff on Aug 25, 2015, 05:02am

08-20-15  02:29pm - 15 days What was the very "First" porno you ever saw? (23 Posts) - #13
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
Deep Throat is not the first film I saw but it is the first title I remember.

I was a student at a Catholic elementary school and once or twice a year a fund raising paper drive was held. Newspaper and magazines were collected for recycling. Magazines were kept separate because of the clay content of the glossy coated stock. We students worked separating the two. The older boys, having developed an appreciation for lady parts, gravitated towards the magazine section. As a second grader, I didn’t quite grasp the reason for this, but it became clearer as I advanced to the sixth and seventh grades. Playboy mags were the bulk of that which we found interesting, with a sprinkling of other publications, all of them softcore. Penthouse, Hustler and Oui had yet to appear.

When I was sixteen, the manager of the local pool hall, an older ex-jazz musician, Buddy, Invited several of us to his place to smoke some pot.
He broke out a projector and screened some erotica. All the women were naked except for high heels and sunglasses. I now had a new hobby.

When I was twenty-one another older friend, Bud, invited four of us to his place to watch his films. Bud lived in a mobile home park. He hung a bed sheet over the front window and screened several loops. We became aware of some commotion in the street in front. About twenty-five of his neighbors were gathered in the street watching the show on the back-projected bed sheet. I then went home and ravaged my girlfriend.

Titles and the names of actors mattered not.

The President’s Commission on Pornography completed a three year study and published it’s results. I think it sold two or three copies.

Someone thought to illustrate the report. My friend Bud now owned a smoke shop, selling tobacco products and magazines, with a large rack of skin mags with every manor of fetish, but still softcore.
He now spent most of his time assisting the men who were lined up to purchase the Illustrated President’s Report at $25 a pop in a plain white wrapping. In a town of forty thousand, he sold fifteen thousand copies. It was the first hardcore sold openly.

Soon, porn movies became legal and many theaters were opened and pornstars developed fan bases. Deep Throat, Behind the Green Door and several others.
Linda Lovelace, Marilyn Chambers, Vanessa del Rio, Candy Samples, Seka, Amber Lynn, Annette Haven, Georgina Spelvin, were just a few.
My favorites, Serena, Merle Michaels, Christy Canyon, Ginger Lynn, Nina Hartley Ashlyn Gere, Sharon Mitchell, Victoria Paris, Debi Diamond, Kristarah Knight.

No one cared about the guy’s names. They were just stunt dicks.

Bud made several buying trips to Europe bringing back massive quantities of porn for evaluation. I headed a three man evaluation team. Yes it was hard work but someone had to do it.
Bud’s Smoke Shop became Porn Central for a four county area in Northern California unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. Edited on Aug 22, 2015, 02:35pm

08-13-15  05:07pm - 21 days Time for Khan to say Good-bye (18 Posts) - #6
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
I got my first puter in the early eightys , not sure when but Bill Gates didn’t have a job then. It was an Osborne Executive portable unit, about 30 – 40 pounds, running CPM as an operating system

A few years later Bill Gates tried to acquire CPM for his new company and scheduled a meeting but the developer stood him up to go surfing.
(surfing back then was done at the beach)

Gates went with his fall back, MSdos

My primary use of this machine was some business apps but largely my time was spent mastering the game of ZORK . I’d heard some were using these new machines to look at women in various stages of undress. ( VSU ) though when I tried that it took me forty minutes to download a single 30K image. There are no lady parts worth that kind of wait.

Fast forward to the end of the century.

I was visiting a friend in Rochester. Prior to the visit, he had expressed an interest in computers, so I came bearing a load of software and within a day or two he had a new desktop machine. While he was becoming familiar with his new toy, he asked “What about naked girls?”
“Don’t bother” says I “ It’s like watching grass grow”

Two weeks later, I was back In California and checked with him on his progress with his new toy. He mentioned spending a fair amount of time looking at porn. “ It’s not like that anymore” says he “ They download in no time now” He emailed me over 200 links and sent me on my way.

I began a new hobby involving mostly still images with a sprinkling of videos.

I happened upon an occasional forum but didn’t linger. Every forum I encountered, was peopled by unevolved “it aint good anal if it don’t hurt” troglodytes. There was no one there I would want for a neighbor.

Nothing changed over the next dozen years until a friend said “ You ever heard of Porn Users? Check em out “

I dropped in to have a look-see and was pleasantly amazed. What I found was a collection of men and women who while probably as bent as the rest of humanity, had a high level of word skills and a tendency to think before launching. I found I genuinely liked most of them and would have no problem having them as neighbors.
(with the possible exception of Bad Andy, my only consideration being the bandwidth remaining in my neighborhood if Andy were there.

It was clear to me from early on that Kahn was the reason PU was so much better than what I had seen in the previous decade.

The troglodytes still appeared from time to time, but were short – lived. Thankfully there was nothing here for them. I had several back - channel exchanges with Kahn and was very impressed with his low key policing of the posts. We did not feel policed.

Kahn, because of you, this has been a great place to hang out. Your prompt response when you were needed is much appreciated You will be missed, and I wish you the best with what is next for you.

Micha unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

06-17-15  11:54am - 79 days Sir Christopher Lee dies at 93 (4 Posts) - #5
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
He was an opera trained tenor and with one exception, his films never featured his singing voice.

He recently put out a heavy metal album showcasing that amazing voice unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

05-02-15  02:26pm - 125 days Are models getting less attractive? (16 Posts) - #17
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
Are models getting less attractive?

No unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

04-28-15  11:36am - 129 days Italian Friends on the Bus (181 Posts) - #184
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and paperwork decided to give up practicing medicine. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, so he decided to become a mechanic.
He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time for the practical exam approached, the former gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks and completed the exam with tremendous skill.
When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."
The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly which was worth 50% of the total grade.

You then put the engine back together again perfectly, which is worth the second 50% of the grade."


After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust pipe while the engine was running, which I've never before seen done. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

04-19-15  02:43pm - 138 days The "who's that model" thread (42 Posts) - #38
Micha (1)
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Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
LPee wrote : This is another one that stumped the model identification sites


Which sites are those, The only one I've had luck with is Tin Eye. They"ll find
several locations for the same image and often one or more will include the name.

I'd love more options. Can you give us some URLs ?


thanks,
micha unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

04-11-15  04:08pm - 146 days Italian Friends on the Bus (181 Posts) - #174
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
I scored 18. My face has begun breaking out unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-21-15  07:03pm - 166 days A mystery (4 Posts) - Original Post - #1
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
A mystery

I just received an email from
michael

Automorrow is a blog host that is currently on hiatus

The email refers to a message from Oprah linking to an ad for 1000 Caralluma a weight loss diatary supplement that is endorsed by Oprah and Dr. Oz

This email is similar to a hundred other pieces of crap that are sent to me weekly, except for the 24 emails that are listed in the broadcast. They are:

contest@pornusers.com

newsletter@pornusers.com

anybody@arizonabev.com I sent them one email 5 years ago

Four of my exgirlfriends spanning 40+ years,
Two of which preceded the existence of email

The sister of an old girlfriend who has lived in Germany for 20 years

The sister of yet another girlfriend from 40 years ago with whom I am in contact from time to time

An old client that I’ve not contacted in 12 years

An eighty year old aunt in Florida that I speak to periodically but who does have email

The billing department of Aetna Insurance who were my hospitalization providers until 2013

Jeff with a company I dealt with briefly 5 years ago
Felix with a company I dealt with briefly 3 years ago
Neither of which involved email

An electronics store that went out of business 5 years ago

Two FaceBook addresses of people I do not know

autorenew@webroot.com I subscribed 12 years ago

and seven others I do not know


I have no clue what this is about or how that string of emails applies. Several of them are not in my email list. The only reason I’m posting this are the first two listings.
I don’t buy most of the conspiracy theories out there and have been amazed over the years at the level and provenance of the information that is mined.

Any ideas? unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

01-17-15  10:54am - 230 days Anyone know if there is a decent software out there to tag photos. (6 Posts) - #7
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
AWPress sez:
.....the only way to remove solid watermarks is to have the master file, (which has the watermarks on a separate layer).

I've found the Adobe PhotoShop is quite effective in the removal of watermarks.
The judicious use of PS tools can make it seem they were never there. Most can be eliminated in under a minute.
My18Teens.com, the most visually offensive watermark in the industry
may be the exception. While it can be done, it is rarely worth the effort.) unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

01-16-15  01:07am - 231 days Anyone know if there is a decent software out there to tag photos. (6 Posts) - #5
Micha (1)
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Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
Thanks, I'm aware what watermarks are, what I'm asking is...

What does UMark do to the watermarks?


Does it somehow utilize the watermarks in the tagging process ?

Does it make them go away ?

Does it email them to the Archbishop of Bardstown ? unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

01-12-15  06:06pm - 234 days Anyone know if there is a decent software out there to tag photos. (6 Posts) - #3
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
LPee wrote: ,,,,, and it also does watermarks


Could you explain? UMark does what to them?

M unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

11-26-14  03:26pm - 281 days Do you edit picture sets? (13 Posts) - #13
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
I Edit. I have a million plus still images. Without editing, this hobby would overwhelm me. I still have unopened zip files from the last decade that I’ll get to any minute now.
Since the advent of digital photography, there is a tendency to include too much non-erotic material for my tastes.

The exception, forty or fifty of my favorites, I will save images of them doing their taxes.

The preceding refers only to my deletion habits.

Of all the ladies in various stages of undress that reside on the web, only a sprinkling are associated with skilled photographers. There are few photos that cannot be easily improved with PhotoShop. I have become quite proficient in the repair of bad photography and stemming of the crimson tide. There is entirely too much red in porn and that is easily remedied in seconds. Next, the watermarks.
Watermark removal? I am the master.
There is a prevailing thought amongst some that while color can be interesting, true photography is black and white or sepia. This also is very simple in PS. The removal of color and the tweaking of contrast can produce true artistry.

The tiniest amount of gape can be quite nice and easy to affect.
Don’t get me started

Michael unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

10-28-14  04:14pm - 311 days Who's the current porn 'It' girl? (31 Posts) - #32
Micha (1)
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Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
To me, most all the ladies mentioned are amazing eye candy, but they don't take my breath away, save Madison Ivy and Stoya.

Who has taken my breath? From the eighties and nineties, Serena, Meryl Michaels, Ginger Lynn, Victoria Paris,Christy Canyon, Vanessa del Rio and Nina Hartley (she does still) .

More recently: Zoe Voss, Dakota Skye, Janice Griffith, Alexis Fawx, Kacey Jordan, Sensi Pearl, Alexis Texas, Koika, Esperanza Gomez, Samantha Sin, Beata, Yanna and Dominika.

At the very top of this list are Mirjam, Kayla, Shantel and Nella but they are known by so many other names that it's difficult to track them.

I'll probably add to this list as they occur to me.
Michael unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

09-26-14  11:28am - 343 days Joan Rivers Died (5 Posts) - #6
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
I saw a clip the other night of a very young Joan sitting with a very young Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show.

The were talking about what was wanted from a female comedienne. Joan said it was sex that was expected. Johnny disagreed saying it was a sharp mind that was wanted and expected.
Joan gave him that look and said " Johnny, no man ever put his hand up a woman's dress looking for a library card. It was one of the few times I saw Johnny totally lose it.


“If you don’t want gays in the military, make the uniforms ugly”

"I don't exercise. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor"

“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on

"I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry"

"My vagina is like Newark. Men know it's there, but they don't want to visit" unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

09-25-14  05:08pm - 343 days Usenet (23 Posts) - #22
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
I've lived in the Silicon Valley since 1979

My first puter was an Osborne Executive, an all in one portable (30 - 35 lbs)
running the CPM OS
The guy who wrote that OS had an appointment in Santa Cruz with
Bill Gates to negotiate for Microsoft’s new OS but decided to blow
him off to go surfing, so Gates went with MSdos.

ZORK was a sizable part of my day and I mastered it before too long becoming a minor celeb amongst the locals who would ring my phone at all hours seeking hints.

Jobs and Woz toured the Xerox facility in PaloAlto and saw their new GUI (graphic user interface) and went home with a new challenge. They soon developed their own GUI and showed it off to Gates who then went home with a new direction and a few months later Windows was in the stores. Xerox and Apple have probably been kicking themselves since then.
In those days the internet was so painfully slow and storage was so minimal, that naked girls were not an option. I downloaded two or three pix and gave up.
In the late 90s, I set up a desktop system for a friend. He said "what about naked girls"? "Don't bother" says I, "It's like watching paint dry" A week later, he phoned and said "au contrair" He then emailed me several hundred bookmarks and dramatically change how I filled leisure time from that point on. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

06-24-14  06:40pm - 436 days When you'd rather not say vagina ... (26 Posts) - #27
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
Clam with fright wig unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

06-08-14  03:43pm - 453 days Download restrictions (10 Posts) - #11
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
They started a year or two ago

I had a membership for three or four months with no restrictions and then a ten gig limit per 24 hours was implemented. The limit was actually 3 to 7 gigs and was arbitrary at best, but the membership was only 8 or 10 bucks a month and the limits were for vid downloads only and not for stills or streams (which could then be DLd)
I lasted another month or two and will never return. The material is not anywhere good enough to warrant the level of arrogance that they exude. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

05-31-14  09:52am - 461 days When you'd rather not say vagina ... (26 Posts) - #24
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
yet another euphemism


the male member............................... yoghurt gun unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-31-14  10:04am - 522 days More Random Levity (73 Posts) - #43
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
I went to a birthday party Saturday night. In attendance was a semi attractive woman with a freakishly large chest. When she was introduced to the birthday boy, he took one very long look and said

" When you fly on an airplane, are those carry-on or do you have to check them?" unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-26-14  06:55pm - 526 days Why so few female members here? (37 Posts) - #34
Micha (1)
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Posts: 312
Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
I read this several hours ago and didn't have the time to respond but figured, this fellow is about to be pounced upon.

YankeeBastard, what you describe here is nothing like anything I have ever experienced on this forum. Though there may be an occasional odd duck in our ranks, there is nothing but thoughtful, and respectful exchanges between them. The few times I have seen anything pressing the limits the offending posters have been dealt with politely and I seem to remember one or two have left in a huff, probably thinking this place was like the other free-for-all cluster fucks they were used to. I have read many posts here from women, which began dialogs that were respectful, informative and non-threatening. Minds met. Misinformation was resolved.It appeared the exchanges were satisfying.

Your profile states you are 18 years old. I commend you for your erudite use of your spoken tongue. I have known many that are your age and your level of articulation is unusual. Good on you mate. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-26-14  12:27pm - 527 days I have nothing against the men in porn, but (7 Posts) - #2
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
The male's job is simply to show off the female at her best

Agreed

With rare exception, the male cast member is a stunt pecker. The only requirement, remain rigid. This is easier than it used to be, with newly available pharmaceuticals, virtually eliminating a key player in the porn industry. The huffer. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-26-14  12:14pm - 527 days This bears repeating (6 Posts) - #7
Micha (1)
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Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
Anal Sex : TheRoadLessTraveled. I like it ! unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-25-14  01:47pm - 528 days Hysteria (5 Posts) - #2
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
I wonder how many citizens presently populate prisons in those states, serving terms for vibrator violations unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-25-14  01:42pm - 528 days Hysteria (5 Posts) - Original Post - #1
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
Hysteria

I just saw the movie Hysteria...

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1435513/?ref_=nv_sr_1

....about Dr. Mortimer Granville, a physician in 1880s Britain, who specialized in the treatment of female Hysteria, utilizing the manipulation of female genitalia to reduce the tensions associated with the malady. It should be notes that Dr Granville suffered from a carpal injury from administering the above mentioned massage.
Nice work if you can find it.

He went on to develop the Pelvicdouche which utilized a stream of water under pressure, aimed at the genitals, and later he altered an existing device, the electric feather duster to provide a high frequency vibration appliance to assuage and neutralize Hysteria tensions This device was called a percusser or more colloquially Granville's hammer. It made easy work of genital manipulation but was available only to physicians, necessitating repeated office visits by Hysteria sufferers.

The use of the device fell out of favor and was made illegal.

The sale of vibrators for sexual purposes remains illegal in many nations, and in the American states of Alabama, Georgia, Indiana, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Texas, and Virginia.



Female hysteria was a once-common medical diagnosis, made exclusively in women, which is today no longer recognized by medical authorities as a medical disorder. Its diagnosis and treatment were routine for many hundreds of years in Western Europe. Hysteria was widely discussed in the medical literature of the 19th century. Women considered to be suffering from it exhibited a wide array of symptoms including faintness, nervousness, sexual desire, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in the abdomen, muscle spasm, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and "a tendency to cause trouble".[1] In extreme cases the woman would be forced into the asylum and undergo surgical hysterectomy.

The history of the notion of hysteria can be traced to ancient times; in ancient Greece it was described in the gynecological treatises of the Hippocratic corpus, which date from the 5th and 4th centuries BC. Plato's dialogue Timaeus compares a woman's uterus to a living creature that wanders throughout a womans body, "blocking passages, obstructing breathing, and causing disease." The concept of a pathological, wandering womb was later viewed as the source of the term hysteria, which stems from the Greek cognate of uterus.

Another cause was thought to be the retention of female semen, thought to mingle with male semen during intercourse. This was believed to be stored in the womb. Hysteria was referred to as "the widow's disease", since the female semen was believed to turn venomous if not released through regular climax or intercourse
The concept of hysteria caused by "wandering womb" continued to be taught from one generation of medical researchers to the next in Europe up until the early modern era. Medical researchers developed a better understanding of anatomy after the invention of microscopes in the 17th century and cellular research in the 19th century. Sigmund Freud's theory of the free-floating unconscious, the "mind within the mind", was similar to the ancient belief in the "animal within the animal".

Both "wandering womb" and "hysteria" are unused in medical theories of today. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-24-14  05:00pm - 528 days This bears repeating (6 Posts) - Original Post - #1
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
This bears repeating

I was wandering on a TGP site and noticed this comment on a young lady....



" I'd like to tongue punch her fart box "



and this was a title for a picture set


" a loveable body with an increment of covetous orifices"


Well turned phrasing is ubiquitous. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-14-14  12:23am - 539 days no porn here (7 Posts) - #7
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
GrayMane rote: But it would'a been nice if that lovely lady swaying to the rhythm, inside the ring of people and to the right of the players. (the one with the great tits and gad-awesome buns) would've broke loose with a seductive strip movin' to that incredible sound.


I checked. That's on the roster for part two. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-13-14  12:36pm - 540 days no porn here (7 Posts) - #3
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
so is this
http://themetapicture.com/the-best-way-t...rtists-of-paintings/ unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-13-14  12:13pm - 540 days no porn here (7 Posts) - Original Post - #1
Micha (1)
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Registered: Jul 04, '10
Location: san jose ca
no porn here

http://www.wimp.com/coinsurprise/[/url]

Found this on FB

It is quite amazing.

I couldn't think of a place to put it, so here's a new thread unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-13-14  11:51am - 540 days More Random Levity (73 Posts) - #35
Micha (1)
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Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune. One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million." Impressed, the woman asked for his business card, and three days later she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-11-14  12:28pm - 542 days Upcoming Movie Thread (1213 Posts) - #1199
Micha (1)
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twelve bucks for a movie? A date who likes popcorn? make that $35

Blue ray at redbox? $1.63 microwave kettle corn $.40

If you miss a line and there's no one there to ask what'ed he say?
(That happens more and more) .............

Just rewind. Gotta pee? there's a pause button

With my 4 foot Sony, I don't miss the Cineplex

I paid to see Atlas Shrugged 1&2 because I'd been waiting since 1964 and didn't want to wait 4 weeks for the disk

Atlas Shrugged ? part 1 was great Part 2? (and 3).... not a single cast member was carried over to the sequels. For me, that's a severe continuity problem.

GM wrote: Angie Dickerson I think I'd change that R to an N though I agree with the thought. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. Edited on Mar 14, 2014, 12:25am

03-09-14  12:14pm - 544 days Survey on Gonzo Pornography (17 Posts) - #15
Micha (1)
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I have to check the spelling of every words before posting a reply...

thaat squiggley lin thet apeers undir eech werd as yuo tipe is spil chek. Lern tu yuse it unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-09-14  12:52am - 544 days Aroused (1 Posts) - Original Post - #1
Micha (1)
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Aroused

I have Dish Satellite for my television and noticed from the beginning that there was a sprinkling of ersatz porn, mostly WVSU (women in various stages of undress) all of it over-acted softcore and not worth my time.
The other night, I happened upon Aroused on the Showcase network (SHOC) that is worth a viewing. It is a documentary of the porn industry with a cast of familiar names and faces speaking very candidly about their experiences in the work-a-day lives of actresses in the adult film biz.
It is very well done. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-02-14  05:57pm - 550 days New faces? (35 Posts) - #36
Micha (1)
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Drooler, never heard of her. She now has a position of honor in my registry,thanx




//-- added by admin --//
As image is not displaying, here's the URL.

http://www.ideal-babe.com/galleries/387/1.jpg
paste it in your browser to see the image
// --- //
unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. Edited by Staff on Mar 02, 2014, 07:59pm (Khan: fixed img tag and URL but img still not displaying - site may not allow hot-linking - added URL to post)

02-27-14  11:25am - 554 days Survey on Gonzo Pornography (17 Posts) - #7
Micha (1)
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jberry rote:
Makes me wonder if there is any relationship to John (Evilangel).


All Italians are siblings or cousins. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

02-27-14  11:20am - 554 days More Random Levity (73 Posts) - #15
Micha (1)
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Conventional wisdom states that man was created by God.

However common sense will tell you that women were designed by civil engineers.

Who else would think to locate a recreation area adjacent to a waste disposal site.






To me, Random Levity says humor more succinctly than Italians on the bus


Heretofore, this is where any humor posted by me will appear unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

02-27-14  12:55am - 554 days Survey on Gonzo Pornography (17 Posts) - #5
Micha (1)
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I just took the survey. It wasn't badly done. If you haven't yet defined yourself, it could help.
If you do take this survey, don't try to go back to a previous page, you'll fuck it up. On the last page you will given the opportunity to edit all your answers. I'd be interested in the result. You'll receive a link to follow his thesis to completion. I'm usually suspicious of an agenda I'll not much like. I guess we'll see.

micha unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. Edited on Feb 27, 2014, 09:23am

02-21-14  02:41pm - 560 days More Random Levity (73 Posts) - #2
Micha (1)
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Khan ............. this ........... is a hoot! unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

02-12-14  12:03am - 569 days Anyone remember the first days of their internet porn usage? (28 Posts) - #6
Micha (1)
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You boys are youngsters.
With a dial-up delivering 7K per second, downloading a low rez image was like watching pubic hair grow. Modems sped up to 14.4K and the wait was still painful. I wrote off internet porn and never went back.
Until..........
About ten or twelve years later, I was visiting Joe in Rochester and we set up a new puter for him.He was a total newbie with many questions. After several days he asked, "What about porn?"
"Don't bother" sez I. "You'll be old before you'll have ten pictures"
Three weeks later, I'm back in California speaking to him on the phone.
He reported that my advise on porn may have been a bit outdated. He sent me several hundred links and changed my life. DSL and later cable modems made it all quite doable.

Hundreds of times I have accidentally clicked "set as desktop background and gotten a surprise the next time I powered up. I've always been a single user so I have no embarrassing tales to tell unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. Edited on Feb 12, 2014, 12:09am

02-09-14  07:13pm - 571 days Wichsvorlagen ? (3 Posts) - Original Post - #1
Micha (1)
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Wichsvorlagen ?

Ive happened upon a word that is new to me.
Wichsvorlagen : pronounced : vicks for lagen

It is defined as source material for masturbation

These are collections of photographs that are not pornographic, rather society page shots of the beautiful people, mostly women with a decidedly Euro flavor. The photography, group and head shots, is mostly semi-glamorous. The women are gorgeous, with a character and a likeability that is very pleasing.

Mixed in with this collection is a large amount of soft and hard photography that is high resolution and quite remarkable that I am unused to seeing, as well as the ubiquitous thumbnails you see everywhere else in cyberspace. The overall flavor is simply amazing and refreshing unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

02-09-14  07:00pm - 571 days Porn actresses in unexpected settings (20 Posts) - #3
Micha (1)
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A number of years ago, a decade or two, there were several established porn actresses appearing in network dramas, Ginger Lynn comes to mind, who were attempting to make the move to "legitimate" drama and comedy. This lasted a while, until they began returning to their previous roles involving less clothing. There was Tracy Lords who it was discovered was under age by a couple of years, who caused major problems for a number of adult producers and directors. She worked for 5 or six years in the industry and then went legitimate in the early nineties and has appeared in MacGyver, Married with Children,Highlander, Melrose Place, Roseanne, Will and Grace and many, many more. She works still today with several films in post production right now.

Source: IMDb.com unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

02-09-14  12:22am - 572 days A Modest Proposal (16 Posts) - #5
Micha (1)
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RA, I too am missing the sports gene. As fathers go, mine was a good one, but he never threw me a ball, so a sense of physical competition never took seed.

And then I discovered women's professional volleyball unlike beach VB, this took place in a gym with very healthy ladies who wore shoes and less skimpy garments. They were amazing athletes and it was not with prurient interest that I watched, though I didn't care about the score or who won.

After a couple of years, their national league went broke and the sport disappeared. Thirty years later, I still miss it. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

02-04-14  03:15pm - 577 days The "Elizabeth Taylor" of porn?? (11 Posts) - #7
Micha (1)
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CPJ say'd Who was the hottest porn star ever?

Yes on Lea and Sylvia Saint.
However, you'd need to be older than 50 to know this, but hands down the answer is Serena.
A blonde who simply exuded heat.

The first runner-up, would be Merle Michaels unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

01-21-14  08:17pm - 590 days Italian Friends on the Bus (181 Posts) - #144
Micha (1)
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What does a Polish woman receive on her wedding night that is long and hard?
















A new last name. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

01-21-14  08:11pm - 590 days Why so few female members here? (37 Posts) - #21
Micha (1)
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Men like to look

Women like to be looked upon unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

01-21-14  08:08pm - 590 days Is anyone using Windows 8? (29 Posts) - #23
Micha (1)
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I have occasional pop-ups but the pop-unders are the most annoying. I will have a string of sites loaded and will hear voices from my headset sitting on the desk. Several sites down in the stack is a window or three that I never opened, with Ron Jeremy offering to give me a dick just like his, or a lady who can be at my house in 12 minutes to fulfill all my needs, or a notification that the FBI has just locked my browser and needs payment of a fine of several hundreds of dollars in bitcoin, or the pop-ups that ask me if I'm sure I want to leave this page and then refuses to hear my answer.

I'm going to get that typewriter out of the attic unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

01-21-14  07:34pm - 590 days Is it just me .... (17 Posts) - #13
Micha (1)
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On many TGB sites there is a category for ugly women, I think if one were to spend some time there, they might develop a renewed appreciation for beauty.

Beauty, is I've heard, in the mind of the beholder.

Truth be told,most of the women appearing on those sites are not ugly.
A face that is often deemed by others to be ugly, I find as interesting and depicting what I would call character and a sense of fun. Wandering in the shops and malls, I often see women that I do not think are attractive, who seem not to have a shortage of attractive male suitors in attendance. Go figure.

Often, tooling that cyber place, seeking women in various stages of undress, my eye is often caught by faces, bodies and personae that are not runway model material but rather pretty, smart and fun, depicting what I consider to be a great sense of life. They look healthy.
That is what I find attractive. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck. Edited on Jan 22, 2014, 12:53am

01-21-14  07:00pm - 590 days I hate that progression .... (11 Posts) - #12
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
Messmer wrote: Don't mind me and don't bother answering


Sorry M, this requires a response. Seeing a young wide eyed sweet innocent become a bit more sluttish in her demeanor is my primary reason for being here, nay, for being. In pictures, videos,and in real life,my favorite thing to witness is an uninterested or reluctant lass become interested and willing, preferably with small beads of sweat forming on her upper lip. I just assumed we all felt that way. My education continues. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

12-23-13  01:25pm - 620 days Anyone know any decent college style amateur porn sites (3 Posts) - #3
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
College Rules might be worth a look. The photography is a bit amateurish but that kinda works. I've only seen one pro there, Amia Liu.
There is a quality of impromptu realism, young goofy looks and guys giving thumbs ups while screwing that is convincing. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

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