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Porn Users Forum » Why so few female members here?
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12-28-13  12:51am - 207 days Original Post - #1
Schirm (3)
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Why so few female members here?

Based on a quick browse through the recently active member profiles, its obvious that not many females are present here.

How come? If PU members are representative for those who choose to pay for internet porn, its obvious this is a male only phenomenon.

Any thoughts on this topic are welcome. Just curious

12-28-13  07:27am - 207 days #2
rearadmiral (316)
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I've just conducted a survey on this. admittedly, the size of the survey group was pretty small, namely me and my wife. But here are the results:

- me (male): annual porn budget approximately $1,000

- wife (female): annual porn budget definitely $0

Seriously though, I doubt that women make up much of the porn buying customer base. I do recall reading somewhere many years ago that men get turned on by watching porn, but women get turned on by watching their man get turned on by watching porn.

Interesting thread. I hope other weigh in too.

12-28-13  09:08am - 207 days #3
pat362 (367)
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The reality is that we really don't know how many women actually visit TBP/PU anymore than we know if any are now on the forum or were in the past. It's the net after all and it's not uncommon for people to pretend to be something they aren't.

That said. I suspect that many women are afraid to join porn forums for fear of personal attacks and a total lack of civility. Based on what I have seen on other forum then they are probably right to fear a less than gentlemanly interaction with other psoters. Long live the Brown Coats.

12-28-13  10:36am - 207 days #4
rearadmiral (316)
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Originally Posted by pat362:


I suspect that many women are afraid to join porn forums for fear of personal attacks and a total lack of civility. Based on what I have seen on other forum then they are probably right to fear a less than gentlemanly interaction with other psoters.


I agree. This forum is unique in its civility so maybe if a woman dropped in and saw that this is a much more civilized forum they might stay. But I do think there is a much, much smaller audience of porn-buying women than porn-buying men.

12-28-13  11:46am - 207 days #5
Wittyguy (95)
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In the past, the few members who at least claimed to be women and posted here in the forum pretty much got hit up with a lot of less than admirable responses to their postings. For whatever reason, a lot of guys seem to think that women in porn forums are fair game for a lot b.s. or unnecessary / unwanted attention.

It wouldn't shock me to know that there are a few women here who hide behind neutral or male sounding screen names. However, I suspect that vast majority of us are just dudes doing their thing ...

12-30-13  02:42am - 205 days #6
Ed2009 (7)
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Based on names, it looks like about 20-25% of my members are female. They don't take part in the members' forums in my main site though.

Maybe women have a greater tendency to be embarrassed about their interest? Webmaster of StripGameCentral and A Measure of Curiosity.

01-01-14  12:18pm - 202 days #7
messmer (137)
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Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


In the past, the few members who at least claimed to be women and posted here in the forum pretty much got hit up with a lot of less than admirable responses to their postings. For whatever reason, a lot of guys seem to think that women in porn forums are fair game for a lot b.s. or unnecessary / unwanted attention.

It wouldn't shock me to know that there are a few women here who hide behind neutral or male sounding screen names. However, I suspect that vast majority of us are just dudes doing their thing ...


I agree that most porn lovers most likely are male, wittyguy, but I truly don't remember that any female that dared put her head in this forum was ever harassed in any way. I think most of them were treated the same as all the other members, that is with respect and courtesy (forgetting about a couple that got kicked out by Khan for being trolls).

01-02-14  11:16pm - 201 days #8
turboshaft (24)
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Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


It wouldn't shock me to know that there are a few women here who hide behind neutral or male sounding screen names. However, I suspect that vast majority of us are just dudes doing their thing ...


As much as I'd like there to be more women here (and hopefully on the new site as well) I'm afraid I've been quite truthful about myself since I joined--definitely perverted and definitely a guy! "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove

01-02-14  11:38pm - 201 days #9
turboshaft (24)
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Originally Posted by Ed2009:


Based on names, it looks like about 20-25% of my members are female. They don't take part in the members' forums in my main site though.

Maybe women have a greater tendency to be embarrassed about their interest?


And I'd like to know, if they do have a greater tendency to be embarrassed, what exactly makes them more embarrassed?

My own theory is that even the sexualized cultures of the West--you know, the empires perpetually decaying into godless, immoral Sodom and Gomorrahs --still have a somewhat Victorian attitude towards female sexuality. That is, a sort of Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy towards the reality that women actually have natural, healthy sexual wants and desires.

Even when there are expressions of female sexuality they seem to be perverted beyond belief--that for women sex is only the requisite physical act used to get something else, never an end to itself. And for all the women who genuinely seek out porn the mainstream choices still seem to be overwhelmingly male-centric, presenting the female performers as if they're professional sexual athletes with superpowered asses and vaginas (or at least as if they're on some serious performance-enhancing drugs ).

This may be fun for men to watch, but I suspect most women viewers find it a little much to enjoy, much less really discuss with enthusiasm in a porn forum. "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove

01-03-14  02:32pm - 200 days #10
Wittyguy (95)
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Without taking the time to dig through the archives here my memory tells me that few women posted here in the past only to be hit up with a bunch of members asking questions about the women. Nothing terribly sexist but definitely not overly welcoming either.

01-03-14  09:16pm - 200 days #11
graymane (31)
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Women's motto on porn sites, offering the likes of Porn Users unique variety might be akin to the following:
"It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there." (my general concept based on the few women members who've come and gone since I've been here.

I believe there're far more gals out there who just tune in to what we guys are talking about than we can put a finger on (pun intended)
If for no other reasons than it's a good way to ease drop on what we're thinking without giving up identity.
Witty nailed it where he alluded to gals coming on to sites like ours passing themselves off as men.

I once unwittingly drew out one of PU's non-participating beauties by pushing the envelope on my thread containing content she flat couldn't ignore.
She barreled out of hiding wielding saber and spear attacking my strong accusation in the thread about the popular practice of most women "faking orgasm."

She admitted her fierce reluctance to engage in joining the confab but only here to observe ......BUT! Except! ONLY! HOWEVER! .... she let me have it! ( and went on to unmercifully dress me down (I'm on a roll) blasting me for not knowing what I was talking about. Even giving examples of the actual explosion of pleasure and quivering response that overtakes every fiber during her releases.
Before closing, she suggested I spend some quality time at the library reading up on the subject.

01-04-14  06:18pm - 199 days #12
qvtta (0)
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Originally Posted by rearadmiral:


but women get turned on by watching their man get turned on by watching porn.


That's the first time i've ever heard that. Usually they get all jealouse and uncomfortable when their man masturbates to hot chicks. Though, good to know that is also possible.

01-05-14  01:09pm - 198 days #13
messmer (137)
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Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


Without taking the time to dig through the archives here my memory tells me that few women posted here in the past only to be hit up with a bunch of members asking questions about the women. Nothing terribly sexist but definitely not overly welcoming either.


Well, since my memory is, without question, worse than yours, wittyguy, I am forced to concede!

m.

01-05-14  07:47pm - 198 days #14
graymane (31)
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Originally Posted by messmer:


Well, since my memory is, without question, worse than yours, wittyguy, I am forced to concede!

m.


Yo. Mess ......
Remember Mistress Kent? masochism-oriented-webmistress entrepreneur.
Classy lady, smart, handled herself brilliantly amongst this male-heavy, sometimes self-proclaimed pervert oriented bunch.
I really miss her. I think she dumped porn and went into the music business.
Here's to you Lady-Kent .... wherever you are!

01-06-14  06:59am - 198 days #15
pat362 (367)
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^Not sure what she is doing but I believe her site is now dead. At least the last possible update was in September of last year. Long live the Brown Coats.

01-06-14  12:09pm - 198 days #16
Capn (28)
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Last I heard of her, she had got into photography.

Cap'n. Admiral of the PU Hindenburg. 2009 PU Award
Hilarious Post of the Year 2010 PU Award
( I would have preferred it to be Helpful Post of the Year for Guys who Hate 'Retail Therapy' ) :0/
Sanity is in the eye of the Beholder!

01-06-14  06:41pm - 197 days #17
messmer (137)
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Originally Posted by graymane:


Yo. Mess ......
Remember Mistress Kent? masochism-oriented-webmistress entrepreneur.
Classy lady, smart, handled herself brilliantly amongst this male-heavy, sometimes self-proclaimed pervert oriented bunch.
I really miss her. I think she dumped porn and went into the music business.
Here's to you Lady-Kent .... wherever you are!


I sure do remember her, graymane! Classy is right .. she was a real asset to this forum and I missed her when she stopped posting.

01-16-14  03:36am - 188 days #18
Ed2009 (7)
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I was hoping that this thread would persuade some of the female members to comment, but that's clearly not going to happen. I don't know what we can do to encourage ladies to get involved in the discussions. Webmaster of StripGameCentral and A Measure of Curiosity.

01-16-14  10:53am - 188 days #19
Cybertoad (102)
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Why is there no female members ?
Because you all are a bunch of perverts.

Seriously, I think there should be a safe haven for the females ( my opinion) they should be open to post in open areas of the forum, but should have their own private place too. I say this, because well many women will tell other women they like have a dildo in their ass while being fucked.
But probably wont share that with a forum full of men.

Guys are weird does not matter if you are a gay or straight guys, we all look at sex the same way and if a lady comes to our parlor and talks sex, guys like it, even gay men or women may find a women talking about sex much more intimate then with other guys.

Just my take but I would guess not all the ladies feel safe to be open. If we really want growth with women outside of normal access there should be a subforum for the ladies.

01-17-14  09:40am - 187 days #20
jberryl69 (12)
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Well - the contents of our forums do represent more the perverted male side of view. There really are not many "female" driven threads that have appeared since I joined. And were I a female, probably not all that many current threads would interest me.

That said, and for some of the commentary above (guys asking personal opinion about female things) I wish there were more female members, whose perverseness and openness would match our own members so we could ask such questions. That could be such a mystery box revealed.

But I shall not pine for that fantasy but any females are welcome even if they don't participate. If it ain't grits, it must be a Yankee.

If you're going to lay her head over the pool table and fuck her throat, get your fucking hand off her throat!

01-21-14  08:11pm - 182 days #21
Micha (1)
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Men like to look

Women like to be looked upon unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

01-22-14  03:42am - 182 days #22
Ed2009 (7)
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Lots of women like to look too. Webmaster of StripGameCentral and A Measure of Curiosity.

02-10-14  04:45pm - 162 days #23
Peter28 (0)
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It's taboo. According to society, women do not watch porn

03-23-14  04:56am - 122 days #24
Schirm (3)
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Location: Sweden
Nice to see my first posting got so many contributions

Am pretty sure ladies enjoy watching too, but if it was a big step for me to start joining paysites and finding PU interesting, the same apply to females and the step might be bigger.

Is there anyone with insight to paysites who could offer some real world information about female memberships? DDF-Ace maybe?

One minor thing which probably dont matter much but still could help make female members feel more welcome, would be a small change to one of the "badges". Earning a "Male profile" badge wouldnt encourage me much if I was a lady signing up here... Edited on Mar 23, 2014, 05:00am

03-23-14  08:07am - 122 days #25
Khan
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Originally Posted by Schirm:


Earning a "Male profile" badge wouldnt encourage me much if I was a lady signing up here...


Actually, if they indicate they are female, the badge changes to a Female profile badge. Senior Administrator
PornUsers.com

"What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be"

03-24-14  05:25pm - 120 days #26
Schirm (3)
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Location: Sweden
Dear mr Kahn, I humbly stand corrected. You obviously care for your members regardless of gender and my assumption was not correct.

03-26-14  01:34am - 119 days #27
YankeeBastard (0)
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My theory is: too many perverts hanging around? Every regular on this site competing to be the Internets #1 pervert? Think we can't see all those comments you make on those god-awful sites? Think that has anything to do with it?

I say yes, that's exactly why females dare not enter this domain. They feel threatened by the few choice pervs floating around on this site. And who could blame them? They're not pieces of "sex meat" to be treated as how you see fit, although most of you regulars think they are.

Just read and you will see for I do not deceive.

I would love to hear the woman prospective on porn these days, but don't ever expect here fellas, a few choice guys killed that vibe long ago. Thanks a lot. Scumbags. Don't you dare tread on me Edited on Mar 26, 2014, 02:40am

03-26-14  01:55pm - 118 days #28
Schirm (3)
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Dear YankeeBastard, would you mind tell that story to a new member like me?

Not knowing what happened before, I would prefer to disagree with you. Here on PU I have found no private messaging function to harrass members with, alert members and staff like Khan, and I simply assume that the only way to contact other members privatly is by mail, and if a member not whishes to receive other members email that function can be stopped?

My impression so far is more like PU is a gentlemens club with polite and interested members, who in some kind of voluntary isolation inside this forum knows just as much of a ladys visual appearance as we have no clue whats going on inside their minds.

On the related site TheBestPorn.com, are the avatar reviewing ladies just a front for male/s?

03-26-14  03:02pm - 118 days #29
Khan
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Originally Posted by Schirm:


On the related site TheBestPorn.com, are the avatar reviewing ladies just a front for male/s?


Nope. They're real ladies, honest. Senior Administrator
PornUsers.com

"What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be"

03-26-14  03:04pm - 118 days #30
Khan
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Posts: 1,576
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Location: USA
Originally Posted by Schirm:


Dear YankeeBastard, would you mind tell that story to a new member like me?


errr .. actually, he's even newer than you are.

My guess is he's judging this forum based on other forums he's participated on ... which I think you've realized by now, isn't really the case.

But that's just a guess. I wouldn't presume to speak for him. Senior Administrator
PornUsers.com

"What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be"

03-26-14  05:18pm - 118 days #31
biker (3)
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Wow, where did that come from? I have been here for a few years and have never seen a thread that made women "pieces of meat". This is one of the most respectful forums I have ever been a part of. I aim to misbehave

03-26-14  05:57pm - 118 days #32
pat362 (367)
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^I don't think he was posting that in the right forum and I should know because I've been on a couple of others in the last few years and none compare to PU. Just the civility makes it a one of a kind but the shear writing talent of many posters takes it to an even higher level. Long live the Brown Coats.

03-26-14  06:55pm - 118 days #33
turboshaft (24)
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Originally Posted by biker:


Wow, where did that come from? I have been here for a few years and have never seen a thread that made women "pieces of meat". This is one of the most respectful forums I have ever been a part of.


I think he may be referring to a few banned members, though I remember them being disrespectful to everyone not just women in particular.

But other forums and sites are flooded with the Haterade® for women, and I'm not even talking porn related ones. Just YouTube and Yahoo! alone seem to be full of members who are so over the top pissed they sound as if they are Onion parodies--and I kinda wish they were. The porn forums can be occasionally downright scary, though I guess that's better than people going out to be the next Ted Bundy (who right before his execution blamed porn as a way to shift responsibility for his crimes).

If you were to the take the arguments of these misogynist assholes seriously you'd believe that men are being "oppressed" by feminists and somehow in danger of losing their civil rights in the names of women's equality. I say if you have that much paranoia concerning feminism or just women in general the problem may be you, not the women. "It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hardcore Commie works." - Gen. Jack D. Rippper, Dr. Stranglove

03-26-14  06:55pm - 118 days #34
Micha (1)
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Location: san jose ca
I read this several hours ago and didn't have the time to respond but figured, this fellow is about to be pounced upon.

YankeeBastard, what you describe here is nothing like anything I have ever experienced on this forum. Though there may be an occasional odd duck in our ranks, there is nothing but thoughtful, and respectful exchanges between them. The few times I have seen anything pressing the limits the offending posters have been dealt with politely and I seem to remember one or two have left in a huff, probably thinking this place was like the other free-for-all cluster fucks they were used to. I have read many posts here from women, which began dialogs that were respectful, informative and non-threatening. Minds met. Misinformation was resolved.It appeared the exchanges were satisfying.

Your profile states you are 18 years old. I commend you for your erudite use of your spoken tongue. I have known many that are your age and your level of articulation is unusual. Good on you mate. unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna suck.

03-27-14  10:16pm - 117 days #35
graymane (31)
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Originally Posted by Micha:


I read this several hours ago and didn't have the time to respond but figured, this fellow is about to be pounced upon.

YankeeBastard, what you describe here is nothing like anything I have ever experienced on this forum. Though there may be an occasional odd duck in our ranks, there is nothing but thoughtful, and respectful exchanges between them. The few times I have seen anything pressing the limits the offending posters have been dealt with politely and I seem to remember one or two have left in a huff, probably thinking this place was like the other free-for-all cluster fucks they were used to. I have read many posts here from women, which began dialogs that were respectful, informative and non-threatening. Minds met. Misinformation was resolved.It appeared the exchanges were satisfying.

Your profile states you are 18 years old. I commend you for your erudite use of your spoken tongue. I have known many that are your age and your level of articulation is unusual. Good on you mate.


Save your breath, Micha ..... everything you've just said I dare say has simply went completely over this guy's head.

I fear there's another axe to grind taking shape as we speak. And I have a gut-feeling it's sharp and honed edge will be chopping into the reputations of PU's regulars -- probably sooner than later.

03-28-14  01:19pm - 116 days #36
Wittyguy (95)
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Posts: 1,055
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Location: Left Coast, USA
I saw this article yesterday that talks about the difficulty porn stars have in keeping their private lives private. Although not directly on point, I think there are definitely some overlaps as to why we don't see so many women posting here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/26/porn-stars-privacy_n_5023168.html

03-29-14  09:46pm - 115 days #37
graymane (31)
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Posts: 1,321
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Location: Virginia
Originally Posted by Wittyguy:


I saw this article yesterday that talks about the difficulty porn stars have in keeping their private lives private. Although not directly on point, I think there are definitely some overlaps as to why we don't see so many women posting here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/26/porn-stars-privacy_n_5023168.html

03-29-14  10:59pm - 115 days #38
graymane (31)
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Eh... khan!
Would you be so kind as to make my last post #37 disappear.

It seemed to have got stuck there in my long and laborious attempt to retrieve a preceding post I had spent well over four hours composing ..... only to have it suddenly, and mysteriously just get swept away ... right off what I was doing and before my eyes.
This was particularly devastating because I had poured over numerous pages having written what I felt could've surpassed anything I've previously submitted. Edited on Mar 30, 2014, 04:36pm

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